Keith Hernandez Pretty Much Came In His Pants Last Night Watching This Chick Eat A Hot Dog

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Never change, Keith. Never change.

I think between that chick’s tits and then the close up of the $25 hot dog Keith actually blew a load in his pants. Just moaning and groaning in the booth like a barnyard animal. Surprised he didn’t drop an “I’m Keith Hernandez” and light up a cig after that. And the best part is Gary going on about the intricacies of the $25 hot dog. “How many pounds of meat are there and what kind of toppings do you think you have, Keith?” “Shut the fuck up Gary I’m looking at that chick’s tits right now. Save your sabermetric hot dog talk for Ron, nerd. We’ve got some titties to dissect here.”