Surviving Barstool | Ep. 2 Premieres TONIGHT at 8PM ETWATCH EP. 1 NOW

I Am Officially All In On Matt Rhule As The Next HC Of NYG After Finding Out He Wears A Smock That May Or May Not Be Exclusively For Spitting On

Someone tell Dave Gettleman and his four computer folks to call off the head coaching search because we have officially found our guy. I'll admit that I don't know much about Matt Rhule because I'm not a college football diehard. But almost everything I've heard about the guy over the last few days has been great. He is pretty much the patron saint of shitty football situations considering his last two jobs were the head coach of Temple and post-scandal Baylor, showed the ability to turn around both programs very quickly by coaching his dick off, and clearly has a way with words.

A head coach isn't just in charge of the players or the other coaches. He is the face of and responsible for the entire program. Head coaches don't have time to stop and spit on the ground like normal folks because they have an entire university on their back like Greg Jennings in Madden. 

However, you also cannot be a leader of men that will respect you if your clothes are bukakke'd with your own spit. Matt Rhule clearly knew this and solved the problem like any Football Guy would. He got himself a smock straight out of 3rd grade art class and can spit anywhere he wants without slowing down on the sideline one bit. If that isn't the mark of a sports CEO that can adjust on the fly, I don't know what is. Considering the Giants last coach never seemed ready to make even the most basic gameplan adjustments and was routinely bullied by the opposing coach into using timeouts, Rhule's ingenuity would clearly be a massive upgrade over what we just had. Plus the Maras can sell smocks with the old school GIANTS logo on them and watch the money pile up right next to the Lombardi trophies.