Game Of Thrones: Purple Wedding (Spoilers)
Spoilers
Welp there it is! Cuncel Da Joffrey. Every Game of Thrones viewer finally got their wish. One of the most hated characters in television history finally bites the bullet. All I know is that if George R.R. Martin ever invites you to a wedding, stay the fuck away. Politely decline and keep it movin.
I thought this was going to be one of the most satisfying deaths in TV history. Joffrey is one of the most fucked up, cowardly pricks to ever grace the small screen. I’ve been waiting for the day he meets his demise, but I gotta be honest – this wasn’t nearly as satisfying as I thought it was gonna be. I thought for sure we’d see some revenge for Sansa Stark. Or maybe the Half Man finally takes out all his anger and frustration on the little son of a bitch. Perhaps Tywinn finally gets fed up and chokes the little inbred to death. Shit I would loved to have seen a dragon burn his ass up. I mean yes, watching him slowly choke to death was pretty solid. The purple face and the bloodshot eyes with the blood dripping from his nose and the corners of his mouth was a great shot:
Seeing this little fucking asshole choking on his own vomit bleeding from every hole on his face was awesome. I just thought there was gonna be a more satisfying story alongside of it that an anonymous poisoning. I wanted a longer, drawn out scene where Joffrey’s fear and cowardice leads to a bloody, violent end from one of the many characters who want to see him dead. I’m sure there’s a deeper meaning and reason for dying in this fashion, but I just wanted something a little more gratifying. Whatever, as long as that little motherfucker is sheets I’m happy. Shits about to get real real in the 7 Kingdoms now.
Full discussion of The Lion and The Rose/Purple Wedding on this week’s Barstool DVR. We’re gonna be talking about the top 5 most satisfying deaths in television history. Email me kfc@barstoolsports.com or tweet me @KFCBarstool with your nominations. We’re also going to be talking about how some of the people who read the Game of Thrones books are the biggest high horse snobby assholes in the world today. Some of them are an absolutely insufferable bunch of Book Is Better Than The Movie people I can’t even take it. All that, and more on Turn, Silicon Valley, Veep, House of Cards and all the other shows we’ve been discussing on DVR.