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Brady Puts the World on Notice Not to Fuck with Him Over Spygate 2

First of all, this is my favorite photo of 2019. And it's perhaps one of the greatest of the internet age. It's said every picture tells a story, and this one tells an epic tale of triumph. A mighty and honorable warrior, doing battle with his most trusted brothers in arms, standing before the very symbols of his greatest victories. This is Caesar crossing the Rubicon. It's Richard the Lionheart being crowned at Westminster Abbey. Aragorn standing before the Kingdom of Gondor he helped save. It's Alexander looking over the breadth of his domain, except for Tom Brady there are more worlds left to conquer. It's Chewbacca finally ... OK, no spoilers from me on that just yet. 

Like those other legendary warriors, Brady has also had to endure enemies, critics, doubters, backstabbers, fools, knaves and assorted duplicitous assholes who have sought to undermine him at every turn. It happens to anyone who changes history, and he is no exception. 

And so it was that last night, doing his contractually obligated paid weekly appearance on Westwood One that the GOAT was asked about "Spygate 2. Live Free or Spy Hard." And his answer should strike fear in the black, soulless heart of anyone whose hopes for finally ending the Patriots Dynasty rest on this "scandal." 

"I’ve put it out of my mind. I’ve not thought about it since I heard about it. I think a lot of people are making a lot of nothing.

"We are thinking about other things. We’re trying to focus on winning games. As a player, my job is to go out there and do the best I can do and eliminate as many distractions. A lot of people are trying to make this a distraction for us and we’re not going to allow that to happen."

Perfect.

You know how members of the anti-Patriots jihad love to perpetuate the idea that there's "a pattern of cheating" with this team? Because in Week 1 of 2007 they had a camera outside the designated area where you're allowed to film an opponent's sideline? And how they ignore the fact that everything else the franchise has been accused of is either Flat Earth rubbish like believing the cold doesn't affect air pressure or flat out ghost chasing like helmet radios, bugged locker rooms and warm Gatorade? 

Well there's one other, much more relevant pattern they're missing: How this team responds to the "Cheatriots" talk. 

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It's the ultimate motivation for the ultimate sports dynasty led by the Ultimate Warrior. It inspired a very good team to lap the field to go 16-0 in 2007. Two weeks of air PSI talk inspired Brady to throw four TDs to four different receivers against the same Legion of Boom that held the highest scoring offense in history to 8 points the Super Bowl before. The punishment for not handing his private phone over to Roger Goodell launched the Patriots to win their fifth banner two years later. And all the doubt coming from every direction last year was not lost on him.

And if you think he's not every bit as fired up about this Spygate smear, this latest insult to all he's accomplished and is continuing to accomplish, you better think again. Because he is most definitely feeling it.

So keep it up. All I want for Christmas is another reactionary, draconian, overreaching punishment handed down by the tyrant Ginger Satan, trying to make a distraction over this "lot of nothing" that Brady's team will not allow to happen. Kiss the Rings.