Do We Hate JK Rowling Or Not?

Cliff Notes: a researcher tweeted something about trans women that got the researcher fired from some prestigious research position, or something like that. JK Rowling threw her hat in the ring defending the researcher, or something like that. It's very hard for me to follow because we're talking about a lot of stuff I don't know about and I think that's putting it lightly. 

I do, however, happen to know a lot about Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry because I had a normal childhood and as I've said before, I love magic. In another life, I'm performing magic on a small stage for an intimate crowd, captivating them with illusions of back-to-back playoff appearances from the Chicago Bears. 

No magic is that powerful 

And seemingly no magic was powerful enough to turn the world against JK Rowling yet here we are again. People are lining up out the door to hate her guts while I hand out the deli counter tickets

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And again, I'm not an expert on the issues at hand. Just an expert on how to settle a beef and I'm sincerely asking the world to get one opinion on JK Rowling and let's stick to it. My childhood is at stake and with each public beating, the sanctity of the Harry Potter saga weakens like a horcrux taking a basilisk fang to the jugular.

That's what sucks about the world today. There's no room to be a whack job once you make a zillion dollars. Like if JK Rowling was just your run of the mill HR manager with an overly-active facebook account and mild drinking problem, no one would care. But because she's world famous in shaping so many of our adolescent brains, we can't have her step out of line on a global scale. And for that, I don't feel bad at all. Watch The Crown one time if you want to understand the difference between duty and privilege, or if you're just into phenomenal directing and settings.

Nevertheless, that's why I want to go on record now that I will always be the same amount of Crazy. If I win the lottery tomorrow I want you guys holding me to that same standard. 

There goes Two Bird Carl, wearing his orange bike helmet, singing his high school fight song

Now that's the kind of societal armor JK Rowling could use right now which is why I'd like to offer my services to her on a consulting basis. We've talked internally about growing different Barstool verticals and I'm introducing Barstool PR Disasters. When someone fucks up and they need muscle on the inside of the media landscape, I want you to think of this face. 

Hourly rates are starting at $975/hour in line with industry-leading bankruptcy attorneys. I have zero qualifications other than a sincere promise that I will take eyeballs off you and put them on me. Let's do business carl@barstoolsports.com