Well this is it, the beginning of the end of my childhood and I’m sure a lot of yours. Since 1996, every opening day besides last year, we have known that Derek Jeter was going to lead this team into battle and give us his all. We may never see as pure an athlete again, with all of the trouble that athletes get themselves into nowadays, so cherish tonight and cherish this year because we are witnessing the end of something special.
As for the gifts that he is going to receive over the course of this season, every team should sacrifice their hottest resident to the greatest cocksman of my lifetime and possibly any lifetime. Some players get a nice cowboy hat after their last games in Texas, but some players just need reverse cowgirl to get the job done.