If You Have The Urge To Drunkenly Puke Out Of A Moving Mini Van, Don't, You Might Slam Your Head Into A Telephone Pole And Die

Screen Shot 2014-06-18 at 8.45.49 AM The Associated Press reports Amanda Ezra was killed after she stuck her head out the window of a moving car to throw up around 4:40 a.m. Sunday. Police say she was sitting in someone’s lap in the front passenger seat when her head hit a telephone pole in Osceola, Ind. According to WNDU-TV in South Bend, police suspect Ezra was vomiting after a night of drinking with her friends. The driver, 23-year-old Kyle Papa, allegedly drove a van in between a utility pole and the wire holding it up, causing Ezra to hit the wire, pole and van. The St. Joseph County Coroner told the news station Ezra died at the scene of multiple blunt force trauma to the head.

WOOF.  I’d venture to say there isn’t a bigger buzz kill out there than having one of your friends puking their guts out the window and then slamming their head into a telephone pole.  I’m having a hard time thinking of something worse.  That’ll put the brakes on your night real quick.  Think about it.  You leave the bar after endless fireball shots, pack into your mini van with people sitting on each other’s laps because there isn’t enough room, everyone’s having a merry ol’ time signing Iggy’s “Fancy” at the top of their lungs and you decide to go to Burger King for late night rodeo burgers and life is perfect.  Then BOOM!  The saddest part of this story (ya know, other than somebody getting killed) is the puker never got to feel the sweet relief one feels after drunkenly spewing vomit all over the joint.  It’s up there with getting a blow jay and beating your high score in Temple Run (I still play Temple Run).  We’re all familiar with it.  Puking is a weird human action but you feel about a billion times better after it happens.  Your mouth tastes like garbage and your throat feels like you swallowed acid but it’s accompanied by a sweet feeling of relief.  This poor girl never got that sweet relief because she was too busy head butting a telephone pole.  Sad.

PS- I’m not not getting a bunch of rodeo burgers for lunch now.

h/t @RinkRat023