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Cupcake ATMs Have Arrived In New York

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NY Post – It’s the icing on the cake for cupcake addicts. A 24-hour cupcake-dispensing “ATM’’ is set to open on the Upper East Side on Tuesday, giving New Yorkers the basic convenience of being able to buy fresh, gourmet goodies with the push of a button any time they want. “The cupcakes are as fresh as they are at the store,” crowed Charles Nelson, 44, who along with his wife founded Sprinkles Cupcakes. The pink cupcake automat is located next to the Nelsons’ Sprinkles Cupcakes bakery on Lexington Avenue between 60th and 61st. The Beverly Hills-based company has already opened cupcake ATMs in LA, Chicago, Atlanta and Dallas. The machine can dispense up to 20 varieties by way of a touch screen that works just like a bank ATM: You make your selection, swipe your credit card, and out comes your treat in a brown and pink box. Each cupcake costs $4.25. Flavors include red velvet, cuban coffee, banana dark chocolate and cinnamon sugar. There is even an offering for dogs: two mini-cupcakes for $5. They come in one flavor, are sugar-free and have a yogurt frosting. The machine will be able to hold 760 cupcakes at a time and will be restocked two to three times a day to keep things fresh, Nelson said. Nelson said he got the idea for the foodie ATM six years ago, when his wife, Candace, 39, was pregnant with their first child. “It was the middle of the night, and my wife really wanted a cupcake,” he said. “I own a cupcake shop and couldn’t even get a cupcake!”

First thing’s first we’re gonna have to call this thing a vending machine. Because whenever I see ATM my perverted porn infested mind immediately thinks of unspeakably kinky stuff. “Cupcake ATM” sounds like the title of something I’d find on YouJizz and get very, very excited and intrigued for the next 3 to 5 minutes.

So, this Cupcake vending machine has been talked about for years. Its finally here. Cupcakes to go from a machine 24 hours a day. For you and your fucking dog. Incredible. Everyone walking the streets of this city is a decadent asshole and part of me just loves it. People have the time to wait for HOURS to by over priced cronuts. They unveiled chocolate chip cookie shot glasses – which was literally just a cookie shaped like a shot glass that people used to drink milk – and the city went fucking insane for them. And now if you don’t have the time to wait on line for a fresh bakery and you’re above eating pre-packaged pastries sold in stores, well now you can go to the cupcake vending machine 24 hours a day. Walking your dog in the middle of the night and the both of you just need a fresh cupcake? Head over to 61st street because there’s a magical box that will spit them out like we’re in Back To The Future II. Completely and utterly ridiculous and I’m all for it. Sometimes satisfying that craving for some sweet stuff is better than a little ass to mouth.