Vlad Putin Is Still Using Windows XP, Probably Annoys The Heck Out Of His Kids Trying To Figure Out Technology

Newsweek - A Russian news site has claimed that President Vladimir Putin is still using a discontinued operating system on his office computer, software which is also technically banned for Russian government officials.

Open News reported Monday that the president is still using Windows XP and Office 2003 on his computer, which Microsoft largely stopped updating in April 2014.

Open Media said Windows XP is in use on Putin's office desktop computer and the machine at his Novo-Ogaryovo official residence west of Moscow. The website cited Kremlin press service photographs published this fall as evidence for the conclusion.

Every once in a while it's funny to remember that these guys are all actual humans. Typically when you think about Putin, you probably think of him almost like a movie character villain. But when the cameras aren't rolling and the movie isn't playing, he still has to home some sort of a normal-ish life to live. Not normal like "gets home from work, immediately changes into that pair of sweatpants that has a giant hole in the crotch, orders dinner, eats it on the couch while watching some episodes of The Office until the game comes on, grabs a beer and passes out around halftime" normal. But normal in the sense that he's just like your grandparents and can't figure out how to use technology. Probably isn't even on email. 


This man hasn't changed operating systems since 2001. He knows where all the buttons are that he needs to press and that's that. You try throwing Windows 10 at him and one of the most powerful men in the world won't even be able to figure out how to set his desktop picture. Imagine what would happen if you made him use a Mac? Oh my goodness. He'd lose his goddamn mind. Probably wouldn't even know how to turn the thing on. He didn't even make it to Windows Vista yet. 

I'd also love to know what phone he's using these days. I can't imagine he's made it very far past the days of Nextel. 

Which, now that I think about it, would be pretty bad ass. If you still had your entire crew on Nextel and could still just *beep-beep* each other? Actually calling somebody is such a pain in the ass. Texting has ruined society. But if we could go back to having our phones just be clunky walkie talkies? I think we'd be living in a better place. So maybe Putin actually has the right idea here.

But either way, it's just funny to think about what would happen to the world if Putin accidentally spilled some coffee on his computer and he had to get a new one with a new operating system. It's also going to be funny to think about how my computer is now going to get hacked because I'm making fun of Putin not knowing how to use computers. That ironic twist is going to be a real kick to the balls. Oh well, it's been fun knowing ya.