Father's Day Collection | T-Shirts, Hats, Polos, Crewnecks, Q-Zips and MoreSHOP NOW

Advertisement

Jesus Christ...It's Jason Bourne

There's going to come a time when international assassins do all their work via virtual reality. We already have drone strikes where you don't need to be physically present to take a whole slew of people out. So when the time comes when a secret agent can just log in to an interface and carry out their mission while playing a round of Time Crisis II? Well the CIA better get in contact with this man because he's an absolute machine. 

Advertisement

Imagine walking in to an arcade and realizing you're in the presence of the most lethal man in the world. You're over there just trying to get a high score on Frogger and this man is over here taking down an entire government with one quarter. What an animal. 

Also--imagine how many tickets this man must rack up any time he goes to Dave & Buster's. I bet he could buy the entire company with the amount of tickets he gets after spending casual afternoon at Busters. And that's the one great thing about D&B's. The economy could go to complete shit. The dollar could nosedive and become totally worthless. But those Dave & Buster's tickets will never lose value. It's almost as if he's preparing for the inevitable. 

@BarstoolJordie