Merchapolooza | 10% Off The Barstool Store When You Use Your Favorite Personality's CodeSHOP NOW

Hockey Game Starts Off With Four (4!!!) Straight Fights

I've blogged about the LNAH quite a few times in the past and every time, I use the term "hockey game" pretty loosely. They don't actually play hockey in the LNAH. It's pretty much just ice boxing, and occasionally somebody will shoot the puck in the net and somebody is technically declared the winner. But for the most part, this is a league strictly for guys who want to murder and also know how to ice skate. 

Which brings us to this game from over the weekend between Saint-Georges and Laval. Fun fact: the team from Saint-Georges is called the Saint-Georges Cool FM 103.5. Seriously. That's their actual name. They're named after a fuckin' radio station. And not even creatively named after a radio station. Anyway, the radio station team is in the white sweaters here, and Les Pétroliers du Nord are in the red. Let's go to the tape now, shall we?

Opening puck drop of the night. I feel like 75% of every LNAH games have to immediately start with a fight given how casual this one all played out. You had a little shove before the draw and then the boys dropped the gloves pretty much simultaneously with the puck, as if they've done this a thousand times before. 

There's something just so visually pleasing to seeing a fight go down on a fresh sheet of ice. Maybe it's because the lights reflect brighter and you can see each cut of the blades carving up the ice. Either way, it's beautiful. Some heavy bombs were thrown around by both goons here but 91 in white laid the hammer square on the jaw. Cool FM 103.5 wins round 1 by TKO.  

Then we go to the the ensuing faceoff. Again, we've got another pretty solid scrap on our hands here.  

Laval knows they can't go down 2-0 this early in the game. Especially not on the road. If there's one group of people who are even bigger savages than the players themselves, it's LNAH fans. If you lose 2 fights just 2 seconds into the game, those fans are going to fuck your shit up the rest of the night. So Laval comes out here and gets themselves on the board, winning round 2 by takedown.

Up next we've got a real heavyweight tilt. Buddy in the red sweater looks like he'd start puking if he had to skate anything more than a lap around the rink. 

Now the thing about a lot of these guys is that they're built for 1st round knockouts. If these fights go any longer than like…15 seconds? They're done. Gas tank is completely empty and they're just running on fumes. Which is why this fight sucked. They just gripped each other up for the most part until Cool FM 103.5 got the takedown. 

But the only reason he was able to take him down is because red sweater knew the fight needed to end in the next 5 seconds or else he was going to have a heart attack. So I'm just going to call this one a draw. Score so far is 1-1-1. Round 4, winner takes all. So after the 4th puck drop of the game…

Again, this fight was kind of a disappointment because it was over so quickly without a knockout. But that first punch was a clean shot to the jaw, stunned him pretty good, and then red sweater made sure to throw a little something extra behind that takedown. A decisive victory here for red which means that we're 4 seconds in and Laval has already won the game. Just another night in the LNAH. I mostly love how they just keep moving the next faceoff all around the ice just to make it look like some actual hockey is being played out there. 

Sidenote: while we're talking about hockey fights, might as well throw this goalie scrap in from the ECHL yesterday. Nothing gets the people going like a goalie fight. 

@BarstoolJordie