Gerrit Cole is a New York Yankee: The Evil Empire Has Returned

hubbs12/11/2019 1:38 PM

Good morning. Welcome to the new era of the world. The Evil Empire has returned and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. The New York Yankees are back. If you're a fan of the Astros, Red Sox, Mets, Angels, Rays, or whoever is left it's a good time to go pick a different sport and come back in a decade. Maybe by then the Yankees will be finished with their war path.

Gone is the assumption that the Steinbrenners are "cheap." That they no longer want to spend the big bucks to win. They were just waiting for the perfect time to strike. That time was last night/early this morning when they signed Gerrit Cole, the biggest free agent pitcher in the history of baseball, to a record shattering 9 year $324 million deal. For years we watched as Bryce Harper, Manny Machado, Patrick Corbin, and others became free agents and then went elsewhere. It was all worth it for this moment.

After losing to the cheating Astros once again in the ALCS, things had to change. Desperation finally set in with the Steinbrenners. Enough was enough. Who gives a fuck about the luxury tax? It was time to restore order to the planet. Brian Cashman embarked on a journey to California last week to meet with Gerrit Cole, his wife, and Scott Boras. He was joined by new pitching coach guru Matt Blake, Brian Cashman, Hal Steinbrenner, Aaron Boone, and last but certainly not least Andy Pettitte. Andrew Eugene Pettitte ended up being one of the biggest keys in convincing Cole to leave the west coast and join the Empire. The guy isn't even pitching anymore and refuses to stop being clutch in every big moment.

Cashman returned to the west coast on Monday for the Winter Meetings to seal the deal. He wasn't going back empty handed. When the Yankees go this far in on a player, they don't lose. Just look at the CC Sabathia sweepstakes. The Angels were seen as the favorite for him too, especially with the lefty being from California. They still couldn't beat New York. This time the Angels were seen as the clear favorites with owner Arte Moreno ready to do "whatever it takes" to get Cole. When it was all said and done their offer reportedly didn't come close to New York's. That left the Dodgers. Supposedly their offer was right up there with the Yankees, but in the end the dream of winning in New York for the team he grew up rooting for was all that mattered for Gerrit Cole.

The Yankees will now enter 2020 and every year after that as the laughable clear favorite to win the World Series. Their rotation that was for years a question mark, is now a strength with Cole, Sevy, Paxton, Tanaka, Monty, King, Domingo, Garcia, Schmidt etc. Their bullpen will still be as lethal as ever, but this time won't have to be leaned on as heavily like in 2019. The lineup will once again be a joke, except healthy because there's no way they can be as hurt as they were last season (it's science). They have no holes. This has the potential to be the best Yankees team of all time. If you're a Yankees fan, you're about to have the time of your goddam life over the next decade. Just look at how happy Luke Voit is this morning. Christmas came early.

This kid holding up a sign saying "Yankee fan. Today. Tomorrow. Forever." is now in pinstripes and will lead this team into the new roaring 20s where a new Yankees dynasty will be born. This kid, now a man, is a hero for choosing the Yankees. Thank you for giving me the best birthday gift I could have ever dreamt of.