Mr. Met Joins Twitter, Is Immediately Cuckolded By Sluggerrr The Royals Mascot

Metsblog – Look out, the Mets have created a Mr. Met account on Twitter, and it’s being presented as the actual Mr. Met writing the tweets. The team told me this morning this is an official account. Mr. Met has been essentially voiceless since he stepped on field in 1964. Sure, his actions often speak louder than words. However, fans are always able to project on to him whatever we want. For the most part, despite some tumultuous times on field, Mr. Met remains popular, mostly because he never says anything stupid about winning or losing, he doesn’t make excuses, he doesn’t talk about spending, or selling things. Frankly, his only interaction is pointing at people. Now, for the first time ever, he’s talking…

CBS  - It is an established fact that the blessed union of Mr. Met and Mrs. Met is the bedrock certainty upon which the most cherished assumptions of Western Civilization rest. Now, though, comes the following tweet from Sluggerrr, mascot of and valet to the Fightin’ Royals, and said tweet, I’m sure you’ll agree, is pregnant with implications

Hey Sluggerrr is nothing sacred anymore? You disrespectful son of a bitch. Yea let me go ahead and ask Mrs. Met why she won’t call you back oh right its because I’m Mr. Met and I give the best head in the game. Break her off that Good Good on the regular and she doesn’t even look at you other broke ass mascots. Commandment Number 10, you piece shit.

Don’t be surprised if you see Mr. Met go on a twitter rampage right now. Floozy wife snapping pictures with other dudes. Other mascots chirping on twitter. Don’t be shocked when Mr. Met “gets hacked” and tweets Rosie Red a dick pic. “Whoops I meant that to be a DM.” Reestablish dominance by literally pulling your dick out and reminding motherfuckers who you are. I’m Mr. Met! King Kong ain’t got shit on me!

PS – The “Has Mr Met Been Cuckolded?” headline 100% has to be the work of a Stoolie, right?

I mean the only thing that would make this more perfect for Barstool is if he spelled it with an H.