NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) – A-Rod fans are few and far between these days. Chelsea Handler certainly isn’t one of them. The comedian and talk-show host held nothing back when offering her thoughts on the embattled Yankees third baseman on Wednesday. Handler said on “The Howard Stern Show” on Wednesday that Rodriguez recently approached the actress and asked, “Chelsea, why are you gonna make fun of me all the time?” Handler, as expected, wasn’t shy about telling the truth. “Get away from me, I think you’re disgusting,” the author told A-Rod. She also told the slugger that he’s “gross.” And it didn’t end there. The three-time American League MVP said, “Why am I gross?” Handler told Stern. ”We got off on the wrong foot. Why am I gross? I read all your books. I’m a big fan.” She wasn’t flattered by the compliment. Her response? “I go, ‘Well I don’t know why you’re a big fan,’” Handler told Stern. ”‘I think you’re a f—ing a–hole.’” When asked by Stern why the writer and producer despises the 38-year-old so much, her answer was simple. “Just the way he conducts himself,” Handler said. “He’s got a centaur of himself in his bedroom. Yeah, him and a horse, combined as one person … Plus he dates all these girls, he just sleeps around. I don’t like girls who cheat on their girlfriends, you know? I’m not into that.” She also called the 2009 World Series champion “a buffoon” and revealed that his assistant emailed her assistant on Tuesday, writing “Alex Rodriguez would really like to meet you in person.” Handler told Stern that she declined the invitation. “That will just make him email me again, because guys like that love to be rejected,” Handler told Stern. “He’s gonna act like, ‘Oh come on, you’re so funny. You’re so funny.’ No, I’m not being funny. I really don’t want to ever see you.”
I think its about time Arod just packs up and goes home forever. No? Just cancel the rest of your career, take your enormous fortune, retire down in Miami, and just fuck as many butch trannies as you’d like or whatever it is you like to do in your spare time. Because the party’s over. The appeal is dropped. The suspension is on. The chance for you to end up playing the defiant hero against that dickhead Bud Selig and the MLB has come and gone. You were cool for like 20 seconds and now everyone hates you again and even people like Chelsea Handler is taking a giant shit all over you. I mean Chelsea, God love her, is full blown drunk and admitted floozy, and yet she’s still able to call you the asshole in the situation.
Time to just admit that at one point you were probably going to be the greatest baseball player of all time and now everyone just knows you were a cheater and a loser, and that’s that. Nobody really likes you or respects you and thats all there is to it. But at the same time you have like $300 million so thats pretty much a fair trade. Cut your losses, stop going out in public and trying to be liked so that people like Chelsea Handler can’t mortify you, and just be a weird recluse with purple lips, a ton of money, and a centaur obsession.