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Someone Needs To Take Peter Gammons' Phone Away Right Now!!!

ENOUGH!!! STOP IT! I've had enough of this Peter Gammons tomfoolery. No more! Stop tweeting Peter. This is horse shit. There's no way any of this is true. This is Dan Clark's Machado smoke and mirrors all over again. I don't need this in my life. 

Over the weekend we had this fucking nonsense. I was having a few drinks at a little bottomless brunch watching college football and I had these tweets hijack my entire day. I couldn't think about anything else. I mean what the fuck Peter? What's your problem? 

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There's a 0.004% chance Peter and Gerrit Cole are boys and he's telling him everything. There's a 99.996% chance they've never been in the same room and Peter is tweeting from his sleep. Take Gammons' phone away until this is over. My heart can only take so much. He's probably not even at the winter meetings. He probably thinks he is, but he's just in Florida. Do I need to go to Peter Gammons' house and physically threaten him to stop tweeting?