Dear Parent of Infinite Wisdom,
First of all, I only write this in order to reassure my sister and brother-in-law that they are not doing anything wrong. You are undoubtedly a nasty person regardless of the situation you find yourself in and how others are treating you, so on the off-chance you even see this I hold little hope it will affect your outlook on life. Is it fair for me to judge you by one nastygram? At least as fair as your judgment of someone based on what you can hear through a wall, I suppose.
Here are a few of the things you didn’t know.
My brother-in-law helps more people before you get out of bed and have your morning coffee than you have likely helped in your entire life. He operates on brains and misses out on an awful lot of time with his wife and child so that he can use his knowledge and skill to help adults and children alike (even the selfish ones) with a second chance. He saves lives. This week he is in Colorado for a conference where he can learn to better treat you if you happen to fall from a snow-lift, get thrown from your high horse, faceplant into a tree while skiing down the black diamond trail or have the misfortune to trip over your own self-righteousness and fall down the stairs head first. Personally, I don’t blame him for wanting to take his family with him to a convention rather than missing out on another week full of memories so that he can be the best surgeon. It’s a great job, a rewarding job, but not one without sacrifices.
My niece usually sleeps pretty well, and is not known for screaming in the middle of the night. If she were constantly having this issue both parents would be in a mental institution and you wouldn’t have been disturbed. Newsflash: a night in the room with a screaming toddler is even harder than being next door and not something parents willingly plan for on holiday. From the far side of the wall, one cannot see the parents scrambling, attempting to feed the baby, rock the baby, shush the baby, walk around, rack their brains for a way to make the crying stop for their sake, for their neighbor’s sake and not least of all for the helpless child’s sake.
As for my sister, she is a kind and considerate parent, a dependable friend and an amazing wife. She is a first-time mother with a law degree who decided that spending time with and raising her daughter are the top priorities in her life. As a stay-home mother, I’m sure she jumped at the chance to get out of the house. What stay-home parent wouldn’t? Sure, it is true, she’s still learning the ropes. Can you remember what that was like? Do you remember thinking you knew your child’s routines only to learn at an inopportune time that you don’t really know much of anything?
Blahbitty blah, blah, BLAH. Too long, didn’t read. I don’t care what this dude has to tell me about how nice his sister is and how good of a mother she is. How the baby is usually quiet and the dad is a great guy. All that shit may be true. You know why it doesn’t fucking matter? This one sentence right here:
Babies don’t ski, bro. No reason to bring them to a ski resort. Good luck trying to argue your way out of that one, “Dad on the Run.” Thats a little something I like to call “FATALITY” in the world of debate. When was the last time you saw a baby ski? How about never. Thats the last time. Because they’re just fucking babies that do nothing but shit and cry. Were you at a Shitting and Crying Resort? Then by all means, bring your baby. Oh whats that? You were at a ski resort? Should probably only bring living things that know how to ski. Pretty basic concept.
PS – I didn’t read this dudes open letter except for one part: “Newsflash: a night in the room with a screaming toddler is even harder than being next door and not something parents willingly plan for on holiday” Fuck that. Couldn’t be further from the truth. If you’re in a room with your own crying baby, its still your baby. You love that baby. You like that baby. When I’m next door I don’t give a shit about that baby. All I know is its driving me fucking insane. No redeeming qualities to that baby if you’re just a victim of the crying next door. Ten times worse for the person who doesnt give a shit about that kid’s existence.