The Biggest Story In Sports Is That A Non-Coward Finally Won The Dr. Pepper Challenge

Finally those chest-passing cowards will have to pay for their tuition IN FULL rather than accept these comically oversized checks that they didn’t earn. It’s a football passing contest and for YEARS it was sullied by people who weren’t competing within good faith of the spirit of the game. Chest passer after chest passer was walking in there and putting their hand out trying to claim a free ride. Well America just found a hero and her name is literally Destiny. Destiny marched out on that field and started throwing darts that would make Michael van Gerwen blush. I don’t even think Destiny needs the medical school she’s applying this scholarship towards because with her display of confidence and general way she approaches tasks in this world I already know she’s ready for surgery of any kind. Plus, how could she fail when she puts her faith in the three pillars of this world: God, Dr. Pepper, and her family.

So thank you, Destiny, for not only restoring my faith in the Dr. Pepper Football Toss Challenge – but in America.