Double Murderer Suing Jail He's Being Held At Because They Won't Get Him The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition Every Year

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Oregon Live- A federal judge has dismissed an $800,000 lawsuit filed by a convicted double-murderer who said he was mistreated during his 19 months at the Lane County Jail. The Register-Guard newspaper reports that the suit filed by 38-year-old Johan Gillette alleged that the jail denied him and other inmates certain comforts, such as decent food, soft beds and the annual swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated. U.S. District Court Judge Ann Aiken noted in an order dismissing the suit that Gillette did not contact the court after filing the handwritten claim last November. Despite that lack of communication, Gillette’s lawsuit remained active until Aiken dismissed it Wednesday. 

Total bullshit here.  This jail and the people who run it need to have some fucking decency and give this guy what he wants.  Did he kill two people in cold blood?  Yes but everybody makes mistakes, just varying degrees.  Some people cross the street without looking both ways and others murder people.  None of it will matter in 100 years.  And I don’t care what atrocities a person commits during their life, every man deserves to receive the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition on an annual basis.  That’s just how life should be.  Every red blooded American male grew up flipping through those pages and cracking stick long before streaming porn turned our brains to mush.  As far as I’m concerned inmates should get three hots, a cot and a yearly subscription to Sports Illustrated.  Hell, it doesn’t even have to be a full subscription.  Who reads paper magazines anymore anyway?  All this guy wants is one magazine a year that he can most likely take himself to dinner with so instead of taking that pent up rage out on other inmates he takes it out on soft core pictures of Kate Upton and Chrissy Teigen and nobody gets hurt.  Kill two birds with one stone.  Give him the newspaper, the guy stops suing the jail and there’s less inmate violence.  The definition of a win-win.

It sounds like this Lane County Jail could use their own Red in a bad way.  He’d have Nina Agdal’s ass baked into a birthday cake and delivered to this guy in two seconds.