(Oregon) – Roughly 1,600 redheads gathered in downtown Portland for 10 minutes on Saturday, unofficially nabbing the world record for the most ginger-haired people assembled in one place. Organizers won’t know if they made the grade for another two to three months, but unofficial counts clocked in between 1,300 and 1,600 redheads at the Portland Redhead Event. Event organizers did better than expected — they had hoped to gather 1,255 redheads at Pioneer Courthouse Square to break the Guinness World Record for the largest gathering of people with naturally red hair. The previous North American record was set by Samammash, Wash., on July 17, 2010, with 890 redheads.
I’m sure a lot of people are going to be creeped out by this. Say stupid things like “Should have set up surprise internment camps like we did to those dang Japs” or “If every there was a time to use a nuke on our own citizens, it was this Saturday in Portland.” But I feel differently. I say good for these little freaks. When you’re a natural redhead you really don’t have much going for you. Not a whole lot on your resume besides “soulless,” “most times beaten up in elementary school,” and “producer of horrific children.” Why not get your name in the Guinness Book of World Records? It’s the little things that count now, you’ve already lost every other aspect of life. You may have pretty blond hair and you’re not a disgusting, pale freak but are you in the Guinness Book? Didn’t think so.
PS – I feel real bad for regular redheads. Feel like they always get lumped in with gingers. There is a HUGE difference between being a redhead and being a ginger. Chicks with red hair are hot as fuck, gingers are gross.