A Blog About Cookies On National Cookie Day
I know every day is National (Something) Day and for that reason National (Anything) Day really doesn't hold much water for me. National Pancake Day, National Small Mouth Bass Fishing Day, Hook Up With Your 2nd Cousin Day and on the list goes.
Point is there's a little bit of everything for everyone out there, but in the process we lose appreciation for the 5-star Blue Chip days we should be celebrating. Over-saturation will do that.
Now - to be clear - no disrespect to National Package Protection Day or anyone shooting dice (and heroin) in an alley. You guys certainly deserve your spot in the conversation. But the reality is National Cookie Day should stand alone. It should not have to compete with National Sock Day or really any day before or after for that matter. In fact I propose celebrating National Cookie Day Eve.
Holy Smokes Carl you really like cookies.
Uh no shit Charlie.
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Cookies are a foundational food group. Everyone LOVES cookies. Add cookies to the end of any meal and that meal just got significantly better. Cookies as a late snack. Cookie with your coffee. Small cookies vs. Big cookies. Cookie cake. Soft cookies. Pepperidge Farm and the Fancy Boys. Ice cream cookie sandwiches. Butter cookies. MINI butter cookies. Hallongrottas and Fortune Cookies. Snickerdoodle, shortbread, macaroon. It's all in play because YOU'VE NEVER MET A COOKIE YOU DIDN'T LIKE.
Even the worst cookies are a phenomenal snack. Give me the driest, blandest and most tasteless cookies and I'll give you an empty bag of fucking cookies. That's a fact.
That said, you have to be very careful when talking about one cookie being better than the next. I don't think we can do it like that. I think you just have to agree that cookies stand alone as its own food group, and within that are certain hierarchies or tiers of cookies. Consider it more of a framework than hardfast rules similar to the difference between Generally Accepted Accounting Principles in the United States vs. Europe.
The reason we stay fluid with cookies is because it changes so much. Seasons, holidays, tradition, personal preference. All things that dictate what cookie you want to reach for. Spring time I like to get weird on the Milanos, usually Masters' weekend. Christmas I'm all over whatever is coming out of my mom's oven, even at 32 years old.
Carl you look 50
Fuck you Charlie. We're talking cookies and it's time I lay some ground work for your debates.(1)
Level 1: Oreos (generally), anything homemade by a mom/aunt/grandma, high school cafeteria cookies
Level 2: Chewy Chips Ahoy, Milanos, Animal Crackers, Oatmeal Creampies
Level 3: Keebler (generally), Regular Chips Ahoy, Nutter Butter, Famous amos
Level 4: Vanilla Wafers, Chunky Chips Ahoy, Fig Newtons
Level 5: Shortbread, Snackwells, Fiber One Digestive Cookies
If I missed anything you can bitch at me on instagram.
PS: great movie, great scene, great cookie
(1) Not an exhaustive list as there are an endless amount of cookies to pick from so please consider this a template of how I view cookies.