That turtleneck in the library pic is undoubtedly the worst one we’ve been sent.
Time to reload the Miltons machine. Send all sob stories to email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org and help us help you. And you need to send pictures! If you sent an email without a picture resend with one to be considered.
This Week’s Contestant
This is our friend, Jeff, but we like to call him “Big Bird” or “Bird” because of his height, wingspan etc. Bird is one of our best friends and is always fun to be around, not to mention a big Stoolie, but I’ve gotta be honest, Bird has the style of a blind flamingo who flew over the cuckoo’s nest . The way in which he chooses to dress himself sometimes is bizarre and none of our friends can seem to figure out why anyone would choose to dress this way. The worst part is that there have been many a-times that he has left the house feeling dignified choosing clothes to wear that make him look like a no talent assclown. It’s alarming, like a proud 1st grader getting dressed all by himself for the first time without Mommy’s help. Please Pres, do me a favor and hook this kid up with a new wardrobe so maybe he will get his dingy played with.
PS Do I have to say more about the turtleneck in the library?