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The Patriots Kicker Position Is Cursed

I don’t want to sound dramatic or anything but I can spot an ancient hex or curse when I see one. And the Patriots very clearly have crossed paths with some sort of witch doctor or shaman who has decided that place kicker is not a position of importance this year. Gostkowski, dead. Nugent, dead. Folk, innards exploding. Rather than get another kicker who will assuredly get hit by an asteroid out of the sky or something along those lines, I think it’s time to just use that roster spot for legitimately any other position. No more kicking. Go for two, go for it on fourth down, re-sign Flutie and have him dropkick, anything to try and find some sort of loophole around this curse. Maybe bring Ochocinco back and have him redeem his first stint here.