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Thieves Stole Over $1B Worth Of Jewels From Germany's Famous Green Vault This Morning And They Made It Look Easy

In case you don't speak German: 

From BBC News:

Burglars have stolen three diamond jewelry sets from one of Europe's largest treasure collections - the Dresden Green Vault in eastern Germany.

The historic sets consist of 37 parts each, and there are fears the thieves may try to break them up.

Officials are still trying to establish exactly how much was stolen in the break-in early on Monday.

Like BBC noted, they're still trying to figure out exactly what all has been taken, but already they've estimated that it's at least 1B Euros worth of goods. That's roughly $1,100,785,000 US dollars or approximately 275,885,965 Popeye's chicken sandwiches. 

Knowing they housed so many priceless historical artifacts & some of the most valuable jewels in all of Europe, the security had to be pretty air-tight. I have to imagine these thieves did some sort of Mission Impossible zip-down-from-a-wire-in-the-ceiling-while-avoiding-laser-beams type shit to get away with it and that… oh, wait… Nope!

The thieves - still on the run - removed part of an iron grille on a ground-floor window, then smashed the glass.

Yeah.. apparently around 5am the ballsy larcenists started a small fire that took out lights & security cameras in the area, then just smashed their way in. Somehow guards on duty didn't hear the commotion, and what they believe to be just two people got away with a cool BILLION like it was nothing.

Sources said that offloading these goods might be tricky since so many of the items taken are famous & well known among the circles who'd be interested in them, but I have no doubt the black market is already clamoring for info. 

Here's some examples of items kept at the world famous Green Vault, highlighting the serious amount of jawns (s/o Failing Upwards) to be copped:

I can only imagine the damage I'd inadvertently inflict on this fancy doll house thing if I were a kid: 

Aye, what's the move tonight lads:

Feel like it would actually be a huge pain in the ass to try & take someone out w/ this thing:

What I believe are super fancy pistols: 


No clue if any of the items above were among those taken, but no doubt the museum staff & local detectives are in a panic today. Would not be shocked if we see a movie about this someday and am interested to hear how this all plays out. Are these brilliant criminal masterminds? Or scummy local blokes who had a few German beers & got an idea? Was the job an innie or an outie? We'll have to stay tuned.