The Mets Reportedly Hired A Guy Named Bam Bam Meulens As Their Bench Coach And I Am Blindly All In On Him

Clem11/25/2019 6:19 PM

LETS FUCKING GO METS AND LETS FUCKING GO BAM BAM MOTHERFUCKING MEULENS!!! Truth be told, I couldn't have told you the first thing about Hensley Meulens before today. But now that he is the bench coach of the New York Metropolitans, I can tell you that I love him.

We can debate about how important a bench coach is in today's game considering how many moves come from the top, whether it's the Ivy league exec making the decisions or the former agent GM texting the manager when to pull his starter. Sure you may have cases where lets say Jim Riggleman is hypothetically brought in to hold your overwhelmed manager's hand so he doesn't mess up a double switch or to make sure the team doesn't bat out of order again. But I like to think that the bench coach is more of a sounding board for the manager that will help him navigate through the day-to-day of a 162 game season, in this case a first time manager that was a player so recently, he's currently embroiled in the biggest controversy in the sport.

I know that Meulens won three rings as the batting coach of the Giants, was bench coach under Bruce Bochy for a couple of years, won whatever is one below bronze as the manager of Netherlands in the 2013 World Baseball Classic, and got an interview for the Yankees managerial position back in 2017. All that shit looks real nice on a resume, but it doesn't really mean that much when dealing with a Mickey Mouse organization like the Mets. The most important part of Meulens' resume is his nickname.

Baseball teams thrive when good juju is flowing and having a bench coach named Bam Bam feels like something that the juju gods will smile upon when trying to decide who they will bless with a championship during any given season. Hensley may have gotten that nickname for mashing like Bam Bam from the Flintstones as a teenager in Curacao. But the fact he was able to keep it despite hitting only 15 bombs in the Big Leagues tells me that he is a true Bam Bam. So if you add that good Bam Bam mojo with a dude named Chili being in charge of the bats, an 82-year old dude named The Vulture being in charge of the arms (at least as of now), as well as a bunch of players named for zoo animals being in charge of the playing and you might just be able talk yourself into some magic happening down in Flushing this year. Oh yeah and did I mention that Bam Bam Meulens is technically Sir Bam Bam Meulens?

Print the World Series Champion shirts right now!

Also, Meulens getting hired as bench coach means the Mets won't have their asses placed back in the jackpot with Terry Collins being a heartbeat away from becoming manager. I know some Mets fans have forgotten what the Terry Collins Era was like because he had the best rotation in baseball and Babe Ruth reincarnated as a Cuban in a contract year. But lets just all agree that Meulens was the guy for the job and remember Terry for the best moment of his career, World Series berth included.

P.S. I'd be remiss if I didn't say RIP to a legend of the Bam Bam name as well as the sports and entertainment game.