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Assault.

I’ll never be able to watch the NFL again without thinking of Adam Schefter.

You throw a punch? That’s assault. You wallop a quarterback over the dome with a helmet? Buddy you better believe that’s an assault. A defensive player slightly impedes Tom Brady from throwing a touchdown? Arrest that man and charge him with the highest form of assault known to man. But I don’t really give a shit about this play. I’m here for that ref’s flag toss to the MOON. What a launch. That thing put a hole in the roof. He threw that sucker from his ankles. Haven’t seen a projectile go from the ground to orbit this quickly since Bobby Shmurda was free.

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