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Patrick Beverley Claims He Could Have Been The Best Drug Dealer In The World

LA Clippers v Houston Rockets

(ESPN) – Channeling his emotion is something Beverley has been working on in recent years, but he has been growing since one fateful summer in Chicago.

When asked to consider what his life would be without professional sports, the Clippers guard doesn’t hesitate: “I probably would’ve been the best drug dealer in the world.”

I love Patrick Beverley. He’s a great heel in today’s NBA. The Rockets fucking hate his guts, he has Marcus Smart engaging him in a war of words through the media, he’s good for business. He is one of a handful of stories ESPN could write about guys who made it out the mud to the NBA, but probably the only one where the subject of said piece would openly opine about his drug dealing prowess. Again, something I appreciate, but let’s break down what we know about Beverley, the basketball player, and see if these personality traits would translate to moving weight.

The above clip is from last night’s game. Beverley is chirping Westbrook’s jumper some 94-feet away. Westbrook is calling him trash. In basketball, hilarious. Nothing will come from it, perhaps there will be a light skirmish next time the Clippers and Rockets square off, nothing more. In the drug dealing world? Instant gunplay. A lower level dealer trying to come at the big dog on the block? Gunplay.

This level of flopping could only be compared to flagrant snitching. Man might as well be wearing a wire trying to have the refs call a foul against his main competition: James Harden. That’s where I can’t see PatBev finding success selling drugs: he’s too loud. Too bombastic. When he plays well, the whole world hears about it. As well they should. It’s that fire that not only got him to the League, but has kept him there for so long. It’s a huge reason why last year’s Clippers were as good as they were and a massive part in why Kawhi and Paul George wanted to set up shop there. But for drug dealing? Boy oh boy. Beverley would hit his first lick and show up in a new BMW the next day, instantly blowing up his own spot. All in all, I think Beverley made the right choice in sticking with basketball. Call it a hunch but I think the millions of dollars above board is working out for him. Plus it seems to suit his personality a little better.