The Barstool Fund - In Support Of The 30 Day FundLearn More

Carl's Use of the Apostrophe Couldn't Have Been More Correct

As you have all seen, Carl wrote his formal acceptance of my invitation to consume sloppy joes and beer together. Starting the workday with that commitment sent me over the moon. I saw the result in the headline but then I clicked the result and began reading the body of his work. 

First things first - no clue where the apostrophe goes when you're dealing with a name like Chaps. So out of the gate let me apologize if I fucked the headline up. Technically the invitation belongs to Chaps so I know there's an apostrophe because he POSSESSES the invitation. But I'm not sure where it goes. I know it's not Chap's because that would change the original subject, Chaps to Chap and I know that's not right, which brings me to a crossroads: Chaps' or Chaps's. The extra "s" is a bit much if I say so myself. But then I did say so myself, out loud, and it sounds like the extra s belongs there. So I included it in the headline and if thats wrong, I'm sorry. I was busy fucking around in grammar school(1) when you should be learning this shit.

Goodness, gracious. I am gutted. You see, possessives ending with an "S" have given people trouble for as long as I can remember. I can't tell you how many times someone has said "Chap's diarrhea." That's just not the correct usage. The intent was there, but the delivery was off. 

For years, the colloquial usage was to just add the apostrophe to the end of the word like Chaps'. But, that implies that there are multiple chaps which just isn't the case. That usage of the apostrophe, when correctly applied, should be reserved for instances like, "I'm going to the players' locker room." When the noun taking possession is singular, the apostrophe should be used like "Chaps's". Now, that obviously looks gross but it is technically correct and therefore, Carl was spot on. 

Incredible work, Carl. See you at the sloppy counter.