Don't You Love When You're At The Spa And a 13 Foot Python Falls Out Of The Ceiling After Hiding Up There For TEN YEARS?

Daily Mail

A 42-pound python has fallen through the ceiling of a spa parlour in China after allegedly hiding there for as long as 10 years, according to reports. The owner of the store said he was so frightened to see the snake slithering on the ground he couldn't stop shivering. 

The reptile, measuring four metres (13 feet) long, has been caught by police and taken to a zoo.  

Just another day in China. One minute you're at the spa getting a good self-care day in. You earned it. It's been a tough week dealing with the smog probably. Just as you're settling in and relaxing, out comes a THIRTEEN FOOT PYTHON from the ceiling to ruin your day. I can't put any pics in the blog because of copyright issues, but if you click on the Daily Mail article above you'll see how fucking terrifying this thing was. Easily capable of killing everyone in spa if it chose to. Luckily, it seemed to have eaten just before making his surprise appearance and wasn't hungry. Here's the best part though. The spa's boss had heard murmurs of the snake being in the ceiling but didn't think much of it. That was TEN YEARS AGO. 

The spa's boss said he had heard of rumor of a snake hiding in the building about 10 years earlier; and three years ago, builders renovating the spa also reported about sighting a python.

'I've seen people talking about [the snake], but I have never seen it myself,' the boss, who remains unidentified, told a reporter. He said he had hired people to catch the snake, but the effort had failed.

Listen, you hear a rumor of a mouse running around the place, that's one thing. A rat? Okay not great but it's not going to make me stop everything in the world to catch it. You hear a 42 pound 13 foot python is chilling in the ceiling you close up shop, call Jack Bauer, Jason Bourne, whoever and let a trained killer take care of it. If Barstool HQ had rumors of a python roaming around in the ceiling, people would never come to work again. Even after it was caught. You just can't have giant snakes hanging out above your workplace for 10 years. You just can't. 

This made me think of an ATI question I stumbled upon this week. If you had the choice of knowing when you die or how you die what would you choose. It's without question when you die. If you said how and the answer is killed by a snake you're just going to avoid jungles or exotic locations and think you're living forever. That's when all of a sudden a 13 foot python drops from the ceiling while you're a the spa and rips your throat out.