Barstool Golf Time | Book Tee Times & Earn Free Barstool Golf MerchDOWNLOAD NOW

Advertisement

Top 7 Athletes Who Should Sign With The Cash Money Millionaires Sports Agency

Screen Shot 2013-12-23 at 12.51.25 PM

BlackSportsOnline – I have seen it all, and I pray for everyone if this is true. The lovely Jocks And Stiletto Jill is reporting that Cash Money Records CEO Baby might be trying to follow the lead of one Shawn Carter. Yes that’s right, Cash Money is getting into the business of sports agents. Cash Money Records may be getting into the sports game. The famed record label–home to Lil Wayne, Drake and Nicki Minaj, to name a few–has filed a legal request to trademark the name Visionaire Sports Group, according to government records obtained by XXL. The trademark request filed October 25 covers the following: “Sports agency services, namely, management, representation and promotion of professional athletes; promoting sports competitions and/or events of others; promoting the goods and services of others by arranging for sponsors to affiliate their goods and services with athletes; talent agencies; arranging personal appearances by persons working in the field of sport … .” The trademark is listed as owned by Cash Money Records, Inc., under the care of law firm Pryor Cashman LLP.

Ahhh rappers as sports agents. Great stuff. It began with Master P. Make em say UGHHHH!!! NA NA NA NA! They failed immediately and that put a quick kibosh on the whole idea for a while. But after Jay landed Robbie Cano a quarter of a billion dollars its gonna be full speed ahead with the rap game trying to represent athletes. Whoever the fuck Lil B is, he apparently wants to get involved. And today we learn that the Birdman and Cash Money are opening up shop in the world of sports management. Ca Caw! Ca Caw! Birdman daddy, hes fly in any weather!

This will most likely be a disaster of epic proportions. But at the same time, Birdman is worth like $200 million though so he’s doing something right. There’s gonna be a handful of guys who are gonna sign up with these clowns. I always think you should have a rich white Jew representing you when it comes to any matters of the law or finances, but you know some of these dudes will wanna be down with Cash Money Records. So without further ado, the top athletes who should sign up with Birdman:

Advertisement

7. Birdman

chris-birdman-andersen

 

Very little explanation needed her. White Birdman will provide Black Birdman with some diversity as well.

6. Evander Kane

Screen Shot 2013-12-23 at 12.28.22 PMScreen Shot 2013-12-23 at 12.28.31 PM

 

This is as close to hood as the NHL is gonna get. Dude had YMCMB shaved into his head and shows up to post game interviews with white women with his shirt off. Cash Money is gonna need to have some sort of representation in the NHL – this is their guy

5. Yasiel Puig 

Screen Shot 2013-12-23 at 12.35.03 PM

 

Perhaps the cockiest athlete in sports today. Dude doesn’t give a fuck about anything but mashing, making money, not being deported, and looking good while doing all of it.

4. Dez Bryant

Screen Shot 2013-12-23 at 12.33.12 PM

 

Dez Bryant got like 8 million bucks of guaranteed money in his rookie contract and I’m pretty sure he’s still in debt from all the jewelry he owns. He’s got an entourage and bling and arrest records. Match made in heaven.

3. Desean Jackson 

Screen Shot 2013-12-23 at 12.39.36 PM

 

Now there might be some conflict of interest because of Jaccpot Records. I’m not sure how the rap game works anymore. Back in the old days they would have killed each other over some record label beef like this. But now everything has gone soft so maybe this is allowed. Desean Jackson’s entire life is a rap video so its a perfect fit for a sports agency.

2. Antonio Cromartie

Screen Shot 2013-12-23 at 12.43.35 PM

 

He says nowadays he drives a For Prius and is fiscally responsible. Fuck that. Cash Money needs to sign him up and bring out the “Cro.” None of this “Antonio” shit. Let Cro live and become a Cash Money Billionaire again. Maybe it can be like a joint partnership – Cro gets his own sub-label record deal for his Army of Bastards and Birdman reps him in the NFL. Win win.

1. JR Smith

Screen Shot 2013-12-23 at 12.45.53 PM

 

Has there ever been a more perfect match made in heaven than JR Smith and a rap label? Its like JR deep down wanted to be a rapper but couldn’t rhyme and was good at hoops so he went the NBA route instead. But his heart is still to be a multiplatinum rapper or something. All he does is smoke weed and try to fuck Rihanna. Isn’t that what every rapper does? Well this is the closest he’ll get. JR Smith and his brother sign up with Cash Money and make their childhood dreams come true.