The Winnipeg Blue Bombers might be the sickest group of bastards on planet Earth. Are you guys kidding me?
Listen, as a Philly fan I know all too well about how a city can go years and years and years and years without a championship. But there are only 9 teams in the CFL. I mean how hard could it possibly be to just get lucky one of those times? The team was founded in 1930 and they haven't won a Grey Cup since 1990? In a league with single-digit teams? All the while Chris Matthew over here has been suffering through the brutally cold Winnipeg winters wearing nothing but shorts for the past 18 years? What kind of cruel, twisted bastards are we working with here?
Now I will admit that from the looks of Chris Matthew, he seems to be a man who would voluntarily wear shorts all winter anyway. Everybody has that one friend whose dad only wears shorts for 365 days a year. So I'm not even really all that concerned for Chris Matthew if the Blue Bombers don't beat Saskatchewan on Sunday to advance to the Grey Cup this year. But I am very concerned for Chris Matthew's wife because if you watched that interview, you just saw a woman who has had enough of this bullshit.
All this poor, sweet woman wants to do is just go out for one fancy date. Think about it. There's probably not a single kid in high school right now who was alive the last time that Chris Matthew could put on a pair of pants and take his wife out to a nice restaurant. It's been nothing but diners and chain restaurants for the past 18 years and all because the Winnipeg Blue Bombers are a bunch of losers. And if you're not rooting for the Blue Bombers to win the Grey Cup this year just so Darla can finally go out on that date she deserves, you're just as diabolical as the team itself. That woman is a saint and she deserves for her husband to throw on a pair of slacks and take her out to a nice restaurant, dammit!