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Do You Have $395,000? If You Do, This Decommissioned Nuclear Bomb Complex Could Be Yours!

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Anyone fancying a fixer-upper with a difference can get their hands of a decommissioned underground nuclear missile facility in the heart of the Arizona desert which has hit the market for $395,000.

Real estate brokers have posted the former missile complex for sale as part of a 13-acre piece of territory about 35 miles north of Tucson.

Though humans have never lived in the complex, it was once home to a relic of the Cold War – a Titan II intercontinental ballistic missile.

Link to (real) Zillow Listing:

I don’t know why, but this reminds me of this story I have from middle school.  There was this kid in our class named Charlie.  Charlie was the epitome of a class clown.  Made teacher’s lives hell.  Bad student.  Always playing hookie, but liked sports.  In general, we liked Charlie.

Charlie and I had shop class together and we had some assignment where we were to make a blueprint of our dream house.  Had to properly scale the house on engineering paper and shit like that.  All of us put sick ass pools, basketball courts, and movies theaters in our house.  Charlie?  He put a weapons arsenal.  Like the house was just a small blip on the blueprint paper and the weapons arsenal took up the vast majority of the rest of it.

I personally thought it was hilarious but the teacher didn’t.  He thought it was fucked up and that Charlie needed help.  Well the teacher’s intuitions were correct, Charlie is currently in prison for attempted murder.  Needless to say, Charlie would have probably loved to sink his meaty paws into this decommissioned nuclear weapons complex.  And for $395K?  That’s a goddamn steal even if it’s in the middle of the Sonoran Desert.

Guaranteed chick magnet too.  Take a look at these pictures:

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Is it a fixer upper?  Sure.  But the place has the ability to be turned into one of the very best mancaves ever.  Just think – one minute you’re hitting on the 20 year old blonde coed at U of A down the street, the next minute you drop the “I live in a nuclear weapons complex” line on her, and the minute after that you’re taking a $32 uber home with her.  It’s like having a hot tub on steroids.