The Colin Kaepernick Workout Story Makes the NFL Look Stupider By the Hour

Yesterday I gave credit to Roger Goodell (now that left me feeling sore this morning) for coming up with the plan that would offer Colin Kaepernick a private workout for any interested NFL team, just to make his story go away:

Sure, it's a cynical attempt by the league to force Kaepernick's hand and give all the NFL a "Hey, at least we tried to get him a job" out. To take the bat out of the hands of the Blue Checkmarks who keep hounding teams to sign him every time their starting quarterback gets hurt. Granted, it's as transparent as windshield glass and an insult to the intelligence of everyone, given that they've never once done this for any other player whose career ended in his 20s. [Johnny Manziel slowly nods.] But it costs the league nothing and would end the discussion for good. 

Except it hasn't. Not at all. Instead, this clumsy, cynical ham-handed, stunt is blowing up in the league's face like a Bunson Honeydew experiment. Because neither Kaepernick's people or the NFL teams have the first goddamned clue what to do with this ridiculous "Colin Kaepernick's Got Talent" reality show:

Source - First, a representative from the league called a select group of reporters last week and suggested they should be available on the following Tuesday for a worthwhile news development. The NFL wouldn’t say what it would be. Just that the reporters should be ready to share some breaking news. When the day arrived, the NFL called Kaepernick’s representatives for the first time in more than a year, instructing them that the league was willing to hold a private pro-day style workout for Kaepernick in Atlanta in four days. If he accepted, a memo would be sent to every NFL team inviting them to attend.

The league wouldn’t answer why it was suddenly making the offer. It wouldn’t say who came up with the idea. It wouldn’t say who would attend. And it wouldn’t say why the workout was roughly 96 hours away and on a Saturday when most NFL teams were preparing for a game.

But the NFL would say this: After nearly three years of waiting for this offer, Kaepernick had two hours to accept it.

Sounds legit. 

Holy hell. For a multi-billion dollar corporate empire, the NFL still can't get out of its own way. For all their money, power and influence, even the simplest operation comes off like the Fail in a cheap commercial. 


Or worse. This Kaepernick Workout embarrassment sounds like a wacky sitcom plot device. Like a plan Dennis Reynolds came up with  to draw customers into Paddy's or get laid. But the Gang messes it up before it's even gotten underway and it goes horribly, horribly wrong while hilarity ensues. 

But still. This particular scheme is so zany, I'm all in. I need this workout to be shown live on NFL Network like the Combine. Get me Rich Eisen and Deion Sanders and Bucky Brooks sitting at the desk, reporting on all the action and interviewing all the confused agents and personnel department people wondering what the fuck they're doing wasting their time at this piece of performance art in the middle of the season. I said yesterday what I've been saying going on three years now, that I just want this story to go away forever. But if this ridiculousness is how it's going to end, let's get as much out of it as we can. 

Way to handle things, Ginger Satan. Buy an Ugly Sweater to celebrate his stupidity.