Redneck Father Training His Son For Football By Making Him Run Alongside The Car

Child abuse schmild abuse when this kid is playing for Alabama football in about 10 years this Dad is gonna light himself up a nice celebratory cigar and fondly remember the time he made his kid run 10 MPH while he slowly rolled in his F450. I wish my dad did this kinda shit to me. I wish he straight up threw me in the snow with some lumber and made me train like Balboa in Rocky IV. Maybe I woulda amounted to something more than just a skinny fat loser. I spent my childhood cruising around on my own Power Wheels motorcycle:

and now I run a 6.2 40. I probably couldn’t run 10 miles per hour if my life depended on it. Meanwhile Little Johnny Redneck is out there outrunning dogs and shit in Florida. I know that side stitch hurts right now but when you’re balls deep in SEC pussy in the running for a Heisman, you’ll thank your pops.