This Hastily-Arranged Colin Kaepernick Workout Should be the End of the Colin Kaepernick Story Once and For All. Let's Hope.

Source The Colin Kaepernick workout was news to plenty of people. Including Colin Kaepernick.

PFT has confirmed that Kaepernick didn’t even know about the workout until it was scheduled. Kaepernick’s representatives initially expressed concern that it was or could be a P.R. stunt. Confusion also was expressed regarding the league’s reason(s) for setting up the workout, especially since the league previously has taken the position that it does not get involved in the potential employment of specific players. 

The league wouldn’t disclose to Kaepernick the motivation for getting involved in the process, and the league wouldn’t budge on its position that the workout will happen this Saturday. ...

Under the present circumstances, then, it feels like this workout is far less about getting Kaepernick placed on a team and far more about creating the impression that the NFL is trying to help him get a job, without really helping him get a job.

And while it’s entirely possible that the league is pulling a P.R. stunt, the more accurate assessment may be that the league is concerned that Kaepernick eventually will file a second grievance.

I'm not by nature a cynical man. I try to assume the best in people and live my life believing that the motivations of others are pure and noble. But could it be that the NFL is acting ... how do I put this? ... only in their own selfish best interests? That they're not working an employment operation on the side because they want to do some good in the world? That the league doesn't actually see itself as a sort of eHarmony where they help lonely teams meet the quarterback of their dreams? And that this is all just to make the Colin Kaepernick problem go away for good? 

This is another one of those moment where I have to hand it to Roger Goodell. It pains me to do it. But damn if that conniving, thin-lipped prick doesn't leave me with no choice. 

This is the Jay-Z/Roc Nation buyout all over again.

Only this is a much cheaper solution, by tens if not hundreds of millions of dollars. Ginger Satan was faced with the PR nightmare of his greatest annual masturbatory celebration of the grandeur of his corporate empire turned into just another shitty, socially awkward, forced fun office party on the winter calendar. But with Maroon 5 to make it even worse.

So Der Kommissar did what feckless corporate tyrants always do when faced with a complex, nuanced dilemma with rational arguments on both sides: He backed up a dump truck filled with gold bars to the driveway of some influential person and made it go away. In that case, Jay Z. And POOF! the Super Bow halftime show that had become the front line in a culture war is now the wokest bastion of inclusion in the country this side of "High School Musical: The Series."


And this slapped together, phony baloney workout Saturday won't cost more than the petty cash it'll take to secure a practice field, hire a few per diems to run routes and put out coffee and donuts for the dozen of so people who bother to show up. And for that, any time someone complains that Colin Kaepernick got the shaft, Goodell gets to look like a hero. He gets to say "Hey, we did all we could. We had a special workout just for him. No one signed him. At least we tried, amirite? [palms up] Whatareyagonnado?" 

I want to congratulate him for the simple genius of the plan. But it's hard to get past the blatant way we're all being treated like idiots. Like we're supposed to believe this is a sincere effort to showcase an out-of-work ex-player when the NFL has literally never done this before for anyone in their 100 year history. I mean, where's the workout for Antonio Brown? Why didn't they hold one of these for Ray Rice? Or Tim Tebow? Or any of the tens of thousands of players who got released but who wanted to stay in the league? But still we're expected to buy this Dog & Pony show like it's a legitimate thing and not manifestly a stunt. 

I've said before this Colin Kaepernick/Anthem story has been the worst NFL controversy of all time. And has brought out the worst in people. And the last thing I want to do is take a side and bring it up all over again. But the bottom line is NFL teams have a right to not sign a guy if they think he brings more baggage than he's worth. Every business does. Just like Nike has the absolute right to hire a guy because he brings exactly the kind of baggage that helps them sell shoes. Just don't ask us to pretend that a fake tryout is a real tryout and not just something to make this story go away. Because if teams wanted to try out Colin Kaepernick, they would've tried out Colin Kaepernick. But if this is the last we ever have to hear about it, then I'm totally on board. It just kills me to have to give credit to Ginger Satan for the idea.