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Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher

Summer Michelle Hansen, (left and right) a special education instructor at Centennial High School, was arrested Thursday afternoon on suspicion of statutory rape

Summer Michelle Hansen, (left and right) a special education instructor at Centennial High School, was arrested Thursday afternoon on suspicion of statutory rape

Accused: Summer Michelle Hansen was booked on Thursday on multiple counts of engaging in unlawful sex with a minor and oral copulation of a minor

CaliforniaA special education teacher has been accused of having sex with several of her students who stayed behind after classes. Summer Michelle Hansen has been placed on administrative while officials try to determine how many of her students she had sex with. Parents have been told to talk to their children to see if they had any unwarranted contact with the married 31 year old at Centennial High School in Corona, California. Hansen has been charged with multiple counts of engaging in unlawful sex and oral copulation of a minor. The exact number of students she had sex with has is not known but police believe there are multiple… The mother of three came under investigation after a former student at the school came forward to say he had sex with Hansen.

We’re up against the classic Special Education Student Conundrum on this one.  Either the media or the education establishment have to come up with new categories of SPED kids because it makes it a nightmare to grade these things.  Were these just your garden variety behavior problem kids?  A bunch of John Benders and Jeff Spicolis who get assigned to Mrs. Hansen because she’s so good at working with Bad Boys?  Or did she go full retard?  I’m going to assume it’s the former.  Because the latter would make this too creepy even by SST standards.  Assuming I’m right, does this demonstrate everything that’s wrong with America or what?  The brains are all running off to the library after class to study and work on projects for their AP classes, while the SPED kids are sticking around  to get head from 31 year old sex-crazed mothers of three.  It’s enough to make you wonder who the smart ones really are.  In 2 years no one’s going to care what your GPA was, Brainiac.  But the blowjobs the dumb kids get will last a lifetime.

The Grades:
Looks: 
That mugshot makes her look disturbingly like Phil Mickelson.  Or maybe (obscure reference alert!) John Lithgow in “The World According to Garp.”  And that’s not good.  Weird thing though: As much as I hate fake boobs, I kind of like them on a Sex Scandal Teacher.  They up the Crazy Quotient on them somehow.  Almost as much as an animal print cowgirl hat. Grade: C+
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment:
Multiple kids?  So many that the police can’t count them yet?  Right in the classroom?  A big yes to all counts.  Oh, and good luck finding kids who’ll admit to “unwanted” contact.   Grade: A
Intangibles:
  Has there every been a chick named Summer who wasn’t a total sexpot?  Now in Alice Cooper’s words: “School’s out for Summer.”  Grade: A
Overall:
  B-
Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Preferably with pictures? Help make the world safe for Teacher Sex Scandals by Tweeting me @jerrythornton1.