Couple Arrested For Fucking On A Docked Boat

CONWAY, SC (WMBF) – Two people were arrested Saturday afternoon after witnesses reported the couple was having sex in a boat docked at the Bucksport Marina. The marina’s dockmaster reported to police that a customer complained to him that two people were having sex in a boat in plain view, and that the customer’s wife and six-year-old daughter saw, according to a Horry County Police report. The dockmaster went to the boat and told the two suspects that behavior was not allowed at the marina. He began closing up the shop when more customers came to him and complained about the suspects again having sex on a boat, the report states. The suspects, identified as 46-year-old James Russell Nichols and 51-year-old Gloria Sawyer, denied having sex, claiming he was rubbing her legs because they were “sore from a medical condition,” the report states.

Of all the bullshit arrests in history, this has to be the top. Being on a boat is being on a mini-vacation. Therefore vacation rules apply. Namely, drinking and fucking is encouraged at any time of day, in any location. Doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of the night and you’re out where Dexter dumps his bodies or if it’s the middle of the day and you’re in a slip at the marina. If you’re on a boat, you’re allowed to drink and fuck at your leisure. Frankly I’m offended James Nichols even tried to make a bullshit excuse and say it was a medical massage. Just tell the truth bro: you were on a boat so you fucked her silly. No one will blame you. When you get a looker like that on board instincts take over.