Don't Let Lucas Two Times Anywhere Near Your Girl's Kitchen

Hands down my favorite kid on the internet right now. Big Mac is 12 years old going on 33. Probably runs a book and a monthly card game on the side with aspirations to grow it bigger once he gets to junior high and all the grade schools consolidate. And no question he's the baddest boy in the cafeteria: when he asks to trade for your Famous Amos, you listen. Everybody listens. 

But probably my favorite thing about this kid is that he's inexplicably carrying a football and wearing receiver gloves. That's one of the most underrated things about being a kid. Not just playing sports around the clock but just being able to walk around with a ball and receiver gloves and it's totally normal because you're just a kid who loves sports.

Maybe you're hanging around the sidelines at an older brother's game or maybe you're playing the most poorly organized game of 6-on-6 tackle football in that one small patch of grass next to the church parking lot. 

Or maybe you're just hanging out in the backyard throwing a football up in the air to yourself, alone, because you have no friends. Distraught and riddled with vicarious embarrassment, your folks take you to the local sporting good's store to pick out whatever you want, honey. 

Dad wanders the fishing aisle. It's obvious he wants to be alone. 

You gravitate to the football section. The smell of rubber mixed with synthetic leather from the open football wall is too much. 

There, you realize I could use an awesome pair of football gloves. 

You pick up the lineman gloves. You like the padding and they're very comfortable, but they're bulky and you can hardly grip a football. And probably most important, you're hitting double-striper status next fall and by then you won't have a choice but to only wear lineman gloves. 

For now, this is your moment to get an awesome pair of receiver gloves. 

You settle on a pair of gold Nike Vapor Kick Flip Energy 5.5's. They retail at $60 before taxes. Mom is so happy you found something you like that she ignores her growing impulse to shoplift. Not this time Debby.

Dad approaches. 

Nikes? 

Yesssssssssss Dad

I always liked a good pair of Cutters

Of what?

And that's how you ended up with Cutters gloves on the playground at recess. 

And you know what? 

1. That's a totally normal chain of events for being a kid and loving sports. 

2. Cutters really are awesome

3. Pepper Jack Mac n Cheese incoming. I'll post my recipe to instagram @barstoolcarl

4. You already know: