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Chad Johnson Is Going To Jail Because He Slapped His Male Lawyer On The Ass

 

 

TMZChad Johnson was just kicked out of a Florida courtroom … after the former NFL star playfully slapped his male lawyer’s ass — a move that ENRAGED the judge, TMZ has learned. Johnson was in court in Broward County, FL to face the judge for his recent probation violation in his domestic violence case. During the hearing, the judge and Chad’s lawyer were about to finalize the terms of Chad’s punishment — terms that were pretty favorable to Chad. But the whole thing fell apart at the last minute, when the judge asked Chad if he was satisfied with his attorney — and the ex-NFL star reached back and playfully slapped his lawyer’s ass. Chad smiled … the court erupted with laughter …. but the judge wasn’t amused. In fact, the judge found the move disrespectful — and lashed out at Johnson … asking him if the whole proceeding was a “joke” to him. Johnson replied, “I had no intent to make this a joke, because my life is in shambles right now.”

 

How big of an asshole is this judge? That’s what guys do, sweetheart. They touch each others’ butts when they do a good job. Ever seen a sporting event? It’s a bunch of guys in tight pants running around and slapping each other in the ass, only occasionally taking a break to adjust their nuts. Sure it may sound weird, but it’s just the locker room mentality. That’s how dudes congratulate each other. Saying things like “hey man, nice work” is super gay so we just slap each other in the butt instead. That’s all this was. One straight guy congratulating another straight guy on a job well done. No need to put someone in jail for 30 days over it.

PS – pretty intense response from Ochocinco, huh? “Is this a joke to you?”… “No, your honor. My life is in absolute shambles and I’m about 5 seconds from killing myself.”