InTouch - The future of Hollywood’s biggest couples could be at stake! In Touch has exclusively obtained a shocking list, penned in Lindsay Lohan’s handwriting, exposing 36 of her famous lovers. Among the dozens of superstars named are Adam Levine, Zac Efron, Justin Timberlake and Joaquin Phoenix. “They were giggling and talking s— about people in the industry,” a source, who watched as Lindsay jotted down name after name at the Beverly Hills Hotel on Jan. 30, 2013, tells In Touch. “It was her personal conquest list,” the source says. “She was trying to impress her friends with the list and then tossed it aside.” The source also shares with In Touch that Lindsay would pause to think at times “as if she had to remind herself of who they were.” Also named on the list are Colin Farrell, Evan Peters and Wilmer Valderrama. Many of them never imagined Lindsay would kiss and tell, but she apparently did! “The list has some pretty big names on it, and they’re not all single guys,” an industry insider tells In Touch. “This getting out now could rock several Hollywood relationships to the core.”
You know the only thing worse than being on this list if you’re married? Not being on this list if you’re single. If you’re married, it’s easy as pie to convince your wife it’s just Lindsay being batshit crazy Lindsay. Maybe you sleep on the couch for one night, but after that, how can your wife really believe Lindsay Lohan over you? However, if you’re single and in Hollywood and you aren’t on this list, you’re just a nobody. That’s a huge, huge, massive ego blow. You aren’t big time enough to fuck the girl who will fuck anyone. How do you even show up at Hollywood parties after that? You’d be the laughing stock of the whole place. Guys and girls alike, pointing at you and snickering about how they can’t believe you even showed up after not fucking Lindsay Lohan. You have to be a fucking square to not fuck Lindsay Lohan. I can’t be positive, but I’m kinda positive I have fucked Lindsay Lohan.
PS: The names that are blurred out? InTouch definitely made a fortune offering celebrities to have their names blurred out for a pretty penny.
PS: Timberlake has without a doubt fucked Lohan, that’s how I know this list is real. He simply doesn’t care. JT does what he wants. He’ll come out and say this list is fake, everyone will believe him, and then he’ll go fuck Lohan again. JT’s world, we’re just living in it.