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New Study Says That People Who Are Always Running Late Are Generally Happier And Live Longer

(source)–People who tend to be late for things are generally happier and live longer.

According to a study from Harvard University’s Medical School, people who are usually behind schedule are often calmer which could be adding additional years to their lives. They tend to have lower blood pressure and a lower risk of developing heart disease.

Researchers also found that people who have an optimistic outlook early on in life tend to have better health and a lower rate of death.  They are also more likely to enjoy independent living than their peers.

In a related study focused on lowering blood pressure, Harvard offered seven tips to help people manage stress, which they say can also improve health.  These include getting enough sleep, utilizing relaxation techniques, strengthening your social networks, time management skills, resolving stressful situations when possible, nurturing yourself and asking for help when needed.

I am IRATE. As someone who lives on Coughlin Time I am extremely triggered by this study. These people who show up late are without a stress or care in the world to the point where they will literally be late to their own funeral. Meanwhile, I am wasting my shorter lifespan waiting on them and their late ass. Life isn’t fair. The right thing to do is to be on time to be respectful of others. Your time isn’t more valuable than anyone else’s. Being late makes you an asshole, and apparently the assholes either don’t realize they’re assholes or don’t care.

Here is something that I don’t think the study took into account though. I don’t think they factored in the homocides. You make someone like me late, I am not going to just sit idly by. I am going to cut corners, speed, and be a general asshole on the road or in line to wherever we are going. That increases the likelihood that people die because they’re forced to be running late because someone else needed to change their outfit 7 different times because the first six outfits weren’t “fall enough”. Sure, if left to their own devices these people would just be late forever until they died at 105 years old. Those people don’t end up with other people like that. It’s darwinism. They’ll find a partner who can get them where they need to be in an acceptable time frame. And…because of that a large portion of them will end up dying early from being late. When you add that in you’ll normalize the findings in this study that is perpetuating bad behavior. I can’t have it.