Classified Ad of the Day – 1996 Lund Alaskan - $3000 (I Think I Need To Buy This Right?)

From Manitoba Classifieds

Ok, this here is the prime honey hauler. Lemme break it down for you. In one month it will be boat season. Until then, all you have to do is wax it.

Float up to the beach in this bad boy and the hoes will flock. Happens every year! Every summer it’s the same old thing, give me a ride they ask. I’ll take my bikini top off they say, but it doesn’t end there. With this 1996 30hp Mercury two stroke you can practically call yourself a chemist mixing the gas and oil! Plus the 72” beam means you can load this baby up with all the biggest beach whales (trust me, i know).

This wave slammer hauls. If the girl doesn’t take their top off that’s ok because the wind will blow it off for sure. 40 year old virgin? girlfriend or wife cut you off at home? No problem. This is the boat for you. Built in 1995 the creators definitely had puss magnet on the build sheet. That means this boat has been hauling in fish and pink snapper for over 15 years. This is a bachelors dream right here and you wont find a better price. For one easy payment of 3000 bucks this chick magnet will be yours. I hate to see it go but its time for some other lucky guy to take this boat down to tuna town. But that’s not all this trailer has guides for when your hammered drunk at the end of the day you can still loader up. Shoot me a reply and make your wet dreams a reality.

I was on the fence till he said “puss magnet” was on the build sheet. SOLD.  Who cares that I don’t even have anywhere to put it and I generally get sea sick on small boats. I don’t give a fuck.  It’s not that I want to go to Tuna Town.  I need to go to Tuna Town