Brady's Jersey is Stolen Again. This Time From the Patriots Hall of Fame
Source – A Rhode Island man allegedly attempting Thursday to steal a game-worn Tom Brady jersey from the Patriots Hall of Fame at Gillette Stadium was caught before he got far, CBS Boston reported.
Zanini Cineus, 33, of Providence was captured by team security with the help of Foxboro Police officers in the stadium plaza parking lot wearing the jersey under his jacket, police say.
He is accused of attempting to steal other memorabilia as well. The jersey alone is valued at $10,000, according to the Attleboro Sun Chronicle.
Bwahahaha! Zanini Cineus, you fool! Did you really think you were going to get away with this? Did you honestly believe some gladiator-named petty thief from Providence could evade capture from Foxboro’s Finest? These intrepid law enforcement officers keep the peace when an army of surly drunks descends upon their town a dozen times every football season. Not to mention various concerts and soccer games and so on. These are the men and women of Foxboro’s thin blue line. And they’re not about to let the public down by allowing themselves be outwitted by some two-bit burglar.
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Especially not when said thief is stealing one of our culture’s most sacred relics. I mean, imagine the balls on this guy. Thinking he could just brazenly walk out of the temple that is the Hall at Patriots Place with one of its most precious artifacts unnoticed. Even the Ocean’s 11 crew wouldn’t be that audacious. You might as well try to steal the Declaration of Independence out of the Smithsonian. Or the Mona Lisa out of the Louvre. Or the Pope’s hat off his head in the middle of Easter Mass.
Besides, no one will ever slip past the dragnets of the FPD when there’s a No. 12 jersey gone missing. When it comes to Brady memorabilia, these gendarmes mean business. You might be able to just walk out of a Super Bowl locker room under the noses of NFL Security:
But that shit doesn’t fly at One Patriots Place.
Besides, what was the end game here? To fence the items? Sell them to some collector? Offer them up on the Dark Web? Nice try, nimrod. No one in New England would ever do business with a guy who’d desecrate an item so invaluable. Sure, someone broke into the Gardner Museum 30 years ago and stole a bunch of priceless art including the only seascape Rembrandt ever painted. And the paintings have still never been found. But we’re talking about something important here. And even if Cineus had gotten away, we would’ve torn New England apart, state by state, town by town, room by room if necessary, until we got the merchandise back.
That said, let’s point the finger of blame where it belongs. To the people who let Martin Mauricio Ortega walk free when he stole Brady’s Super Bowl jersey.
If he was rotting in a Mexican prison right now like he should be, it would’ve been a warning to criminals like this no good punk that crime doesn’t pay. Maybe if we make this guy walk the Green Mile, this sort of thing will finally stop. So do the right thing, Massachusetts. This time at least, let the punishment fit the crime.