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New Rabbi Shaped Dildo Embroiled In Legal Battle

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Huff Po – A rabbi-shaped dildo does not have the blessing of a major sex-toy store. The device, called the “Rampant Rabbi,” was created by British comedian Shed Simove as part of his “Masturpieces” line of novelty dildos. But United Kingdom erotic shop Ann Summers doesn’t want the device to penetrate the market because its name is too similar to the store’s “Rampant Rabbit” collection of vibrators, Israeli news outlet Haaretz reports. Ann Summers successfully blocked Simove from trademarking his product, but the comedian continues to promote it, saying there should be no confusion between the two, the outlet notes. The Rampant Rabbi shouldn’t cause offense either, the entrepreneur says. “I am Jewish and a fan of laughing at one’s culture,” Simove told the New York Daily News. Simove advertises his toy as a “religious experience” and says “the Chosen Dildo” will generate cries of “Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!” “His prayer cap gives the dildo a smooth, rounded top and each piece is made from phthalate-free and latex-free silicone,” the product’s description reads. The “limited edition” product from his Masturpieces line, which includes the Queen Elizabeth II model Buckingham Phallus and C–t Dracula, begins at nearly $160.

Listen I understand that “rabbi” and “rabbit” are similar, but thats about it. Ain’t nobody gonna confuse a fake rabbi cock with any other sex toy out there. No chick out there is gonna grab the Rabbi Schmuel rubber dick and be like “Oh this is the Rabbit! I heard about this! Its supposed to be great!” Either you want to fuck yourself with a small rubber Chosen man or you don’t. That ain’t gonna happen by accident.

Anyway the real question here is what kind of chick would really want to fuck herself with a rabbi dildo. I mean everyone knows Jewish chicks love anal. They can get single and desperate and do some kinky shit. But you gotta be one hardcore Wej – both in the bedroom and in the Synagogue – to be down with plugging your pussy with a shifty eyed Heeb.