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What's One Way To Get Rid Of A Roach Problem? Blow Up Your Backyard, That's How


An amateur gardener blew up his lawn while trying to get rid of cockroaches infesting his back yard.

When the insects invaded his garden last Friday, Cesar Schmitz decided to try and get rid of them by setting fire to their nest.

The scene was filmed by home security video, which shows the explosion destroying his lawn, sending huge chunks of turf rocketing skywards, a garden table shooting through the air and two pet dogs scampering for their life.

Every day I find myself making fun of my father more and more on the blog.  Part of the reason is that I reminisce about stupid shit he’s done and it makes for a good comparison in a story, and the other part is because he’s so blue collar that I know there’s almost no chance it gets back to him because he doesn’t use computers.  And for the record if he ever did find out I make fun of him on the blog he’d beat my ass.  Old man construction worker strength that also possesses the “Williams Family Loose Cannon” gene.

I shudder just thinking about it.

Today we were shooting the shit in the Chicago office and someone mentioned to me that I should get him on Dog Walk with Eddie.  Ain’t happening for two reasons.  One, he’d never do it because he absolutely loathes the internet and says it has “atrophied my brain” and two, if in the slim chance he did do it he’d inadvertently say something REALLY stupid.

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Wouldn’t be good for business.

But anytime I come across a video like this I think about him because it’s totally something he’d pull.  He also possesses the “Williams Family Don’t Think Before We Act” gene as well.  We never had any roach infestations in any house I grew up in, but if we did he’d probably think to himself “yeah let’s just dump a couple gallons of gasoline in the nest and throw a match in it.  That’ll get rid of em” while ensuing to blow up the entire back yard and scare the piss out of the dog.

I can’t tell many of the stories because he would in fact murder me if they were made public (get my drunk and I’ll sing like a canary), but one that jumps out to me I’ve told before: When I was like 17 my family took a trip to the Florida Keys and we ran into OJ Simpson at this Tiki Bar. He shook OJ’s hand in front of my mom and said “big fan”.  She didn’t like that and screamed “WAS THAT THE HAND HE KILLED HER WITH” at the top of her lungs.  They didn’t talk the rest of the trip and he had no idea what the big deal was.  Still doesn’t to this day.  Yes, they got divorced about a year later but that’s beside the point.  He just happens to do shit without thinking about repercussions, and clearly it runs in the family.

I just really hope he doesn’t decide to kill any cockroaches with gasoline anytime soon.  Nothing good would come from that.  That’s how people or dogs get hurt.