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Bridget The Midget Faces 15 Years In Prison After Stabbing Her Boyfriend In The Calf With A Butter Knife

The Bridget The Midget Band:

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TMZ - Porn star Bridget Powers' short temper was on full display during the violent clash with her BF that got her arrested ... and TMZ got video of her smashing windows and cussing him out. In this footage from outside Bridget's Las Vegas apartment, you see the little person adult actress screaming at her boyfriend. Her rage eventually boils over and she hurls a large object through the apartment's front window. We broke the story ... cops say "Bridget The Midget" -- as she's known in the industry -- stabbed her BF, Jesse James, in the leg during their heated exchange, and she's been ordered to stay away from him. Toward the end of the clip, cops show up on Bridget's doorstep, and you see her walking away from her residence with an officer. She was eventually placed in handcuffs and taken to jail.

First thing's first, I had to do some research prior to writing this blog. For journalistic reasons. Because I had to know what kind of porn "star" we are talking about. Is she some sort of porn gimmick or is she the real deal? Turns out very shes the real deal. Like, some grainy old footage of her on a goddam workout bench working with a male performer who had body parts roughly half the size of her entire body. And while I cant obviously post this porn video on the website, I can leave you the top comment in order to convey the answer to that question:

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So I just want people to understand that side of the story before we begin.

Now, I've been doing a lot of thinking and philosophizing over the last couple years. Spend a lot of time thinking about relationships, and a lot of it is through a pretty bitter, jaded lens. And recently what I've been thinking is how every single relationship, except for (theoretically, hopefully) one, ends in complete disaster. The vast, vast majority of every relationship you enter into will end poorly. At the very least it ends with hurt feelings and awkward conversations. At the worst we've seen horror stories of revenge and restraining orders and assault and all sorts of terrible shit. So recently I've been thinking, who willingly engages in behavior that has a 99% fail rate? 99% chance of catastrophe, sign me up for that! Who in their right mind seeks this out and enters into a relationship with those odds and outcomes???

Well that goes times a BAZILLION when you're talking about dating Bridget The Midget. If theres a 99% fail rate for regular relationships, theres a 100% fail rate when talking about dating a 3 foot 9 porn star who's also the front woman for a punk band. The minute you agree to be in some sort of somewhat committed, monogamous relationship with Bridget Powerz, thats the minute you agree to, at some point in the future, be stabbed in the calf by a butter knife. Even during the honeymoon phase, you gotta be thinking "This little bitch is going to absolutely ruin me one day." The first time you fuck Bridget The Midget, I cant even imagine what the post nut clarity is like. I'd imagine as soon as you're empty, you're picturing her burning down your house? Maybe climbing through your window at night to attack you? Perhaps some Poltergeist shit? I'd imagine you'd actually sign up for just a stabbed calf. Thats probably best case scenario.

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An honestly, if you're Jesse James and you're the type to agree to be in a relationship with a porn star dwarf, chances are you're ok with a knife to the Achilles. So I guess this isnt actually as much of a negative commentary on love and relationships as I originally intended. I started penning this blog thinking I'd preach against the insanity that is relationships. But instead I think its actually rather positive. If theres one takeaway here its that theres a lid for every pot. That everyone can find love and happiness. Bridget The Midget and her 3 foot 9 ass, with a history of hardcore porn and a life of badass punk rock on stage, can find a boyfriend who accepts her for all her stabby ways. You cant escape the fact that a relationship with her might end in bloodshed and stabbed calves, but thats just the cost of doing business. Whats that old saying? "Dont cry because its over, smile because it happened...and because it was only a butter knife and no real long term damage was done to your achilles tendon." If she was able to find a boyfriend who took on all her baggage, so can you, ladies.

PS - TMZ doing her dirty with that "Short temper" pun. You wrong for that.