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Gettin' That Bred: Behold The World's Most Country-Ass Baby Announcement

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Ok.. We’ve got a lady in a cow chute, a gent with a looooong rubber glove, and a sign that says, “BRED”. So for the layman, what exactly is this symbolizing here….?

Well for a basic idea according to experts at thee dairy authority, University of Wisconsin:

After thawing semen in a warm water bath, a farmer (or a specialized technician) inserts a syringe-like inseminator through the cow’s cervix and vagina to reach her uterus. At the same time, he or she inserts a gloved hand through the cow’s rectum to manipulate the uterus through the rectal wall.

Ah. Ok. Got the joke.

The cattle-poke post first took off on Facebook where apparently the caption was, “When you mess with the bull, you get the horn”.


The photo has since made its way to Twitter where it’s gone viral & rustled up a silo’s worth of judgy commentary. Though it’s not quite my sense of humor (I may have momentarily recoiled upon 1st viewing), it seems like they’ve got enough of one to laugh it all off. And in the big scheme of baby announcements it’s nowhere near the worst…

Lest we forget 2015’s Britney Spears themed, six minute long, bizarre pregnancy announcement montage featuring all the hits:


#1) Britney Spears’ “Oops, I Did it Again” as “Oooh, We’re Pregnant Again”.
#2) Britney Spears’ “Toxic” as “Nauseous”.
#3) Britney Spears’ “I’m A Slave For You” as “I’m A-Voiding You”.
#4) The Reveal! Britney Spears’ “Everytime”. Are we going to have a boy or a girl??!!
#5) Britney Spears and Iggy Izalea’s “Pretty Girls” as “Little Girl featuring Daddy G”

And one of my personal favorites, the festive reveal that burnt 47,000 acres to a crisp in a raging wildfire.

So you do you, farmer couple. Ignore the haters, get that BRED, & have a toast (milk?) to the new fam.