"I'm Not A Smart Guy And I Can Figure Out The Offense" - Doug Pederson's Thoughts On The Anonymous Source On The Eagles Who Is Bitching To Josina Anderson
So earlier in the week, somebody on the Eagles (most likely Alshon Jeffery) decided to air out their frustration with the Eagles not trading for Jalen Ramsey to Josina Anderson. Okay, whatever, obviously giving an anonymous quote to the media is a coward’s move but if he’s just talking shit on Howie Roseman, that won’t cause any major problems in the locker room. However, that person (highly probable Alshon Jeffery) then continued to air out some more frustrations to Josina and took a direct shot at Carson.
Are you fucking kidding me, dude? Whoever this is (again, quite possibly Alshon Jeffery) can get the fuck out of here. We’ll talk more about that in a minute, but today Doug Pederson had a chance to respond to some of the criticisms of the offense made by this anonymous source (again, seemingly Alshon Jeffery).
“I’m not a smart guy and I can figure out the offense”. Goddamn, man. I love Doug. He might be a bastard sometimes when he decides to go for a fake field goal at the end of the half that gets blown up, but I love this man to death. This does a couple of things. 1) It makes the anonymous source (potentially Alshon Jeffery) sound like a total fucking jackass if he thinks the offense is too complicated. And 2) he is able to turn the whole thing into a joke. If Josina Anderson thinks that she’s going to cause a divide in the Eagles locker room by airing out the shit that she’s been told by an anonymous source (perhaps Alshon Jeffery), she’s got another thing coming. Because Doug and anybody else who actually matters couldn’t give less of a shit about it.
Now I will say that the team does need to figure out this anonymous source problem. They had it toward the end of last season when that article went out about Carson Wentz being a bad leader, and now we have this shit. Again, many signs point to Alshon for both but let’s just give him the benefit of the doubt right now. Let’s just say that we have no idea who this anonymous source is. It could be another receiver, it could be someone on the defense, it could be at least 4 or 5 guys. So I think right now the only way to get this settled is for Doug Pederson to walk into the locker room and take everybody’s cellphones. Once he has all the phones, he just needs to go through all of them and figure out who has Josina Anderson’s number saved in there. And if you have Josina Anderson’s number in there? Well guess what, you’re cut. Everybody else is good to go. Just get them out of here. Don’t even try to trade them, just cut them right there on the spot. Because anybody who you trade them for will still have that stink on them. Seems pretty simple to me.
Now just go out there and beat Dallas.