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Theo Epstein's Dog Is Being Accused Of Causing $51,000 In Damages To A Rental Home In Arizona (And Other Cubs Notes)

(670 The Score) -A lawsuit has been brought against Theo Epstein after his dog urinated in a house that Epstein and his family rented during spring training in 2015, according to the Phoenix New Times.

Epstein's dog "left a terrible odor and urine-stained carpeting" in the house, "staining tile and stone flooring, wood door jams, cabinets and furniture," the New Times reported.

Epstein denied the allegations through a Cubs spokesman. The Epsteins left the rental home early that spring training to stay at another place because of a scorpion problem.

"This frivolous lawsuit would have you believe a 10-pound rescue puppy transformed into a nightmarish Levitán from the 1984 Alice Cooper horror movie and went on a rampage in a rental property," Cubs spokesman Julian Green told the New Times. "The truth is the real horror story was the house and inhabited creatures that put this family at risk every time they put their children to sleep."

The repair estimate for the damage was $51,405, the Tribune reported.

Who sues a dog? Assholes. That's who.

Theo Epstein doesn't owe these people a goddamn thing. You know why? 

Julian Green, close personal friend of Barstool Chicago, has thrown his hat in the ring. The head of comms for the Cubs is out defending the Epstein family and on good faith I would imagine you don't come over the top with such descriptive language unless you know for sure you're right about the argument. No one walks headfirst into a losing battle. 


A Major Let Down In Three Parts/Tweets:


What a cock tease. I'm over here THIRSTY for an update of any substance on the manager news. I've said before and I'll say again this is the 2nd biggest story of Theo's time in Chicago after the World Series. Next man up is Who Did We Replace Joe Maddon With? Because no doubt about it, Joe will continue to field good teams and end up in the hall of fame. The history books will accurately reflect that he was the scapegoat for a horrible 13 month stretch of baseball going back to September 2018. How much of that really falls on his plate is so fucking debatable I can't even get ramped up so let's not. Instead, let's agree it's harder to replace 12 players than 1 manager so moving from Joe to find a manager makes sense and fuck me I'm doing it again - I can't talk about the Cubs manager search without going back to Joe's time here and it's because this is such an important decision. 

You can stuff Tyler Chatwood in the bullpen when he sucks. You can hit Jason Heyward 7 and pretend Brandon Morrow never existed what and that we didn't trade TLS to sign Daniel Descalso. You can do all that and hide bad decisions at the player level but you absolutely cannot fuck up the manager. 

Now that I've gotten that off my chest let's address a few facts about the news from Eno Sarris: 

1. Craig Breslow was in the organization last year so I'm confused with his roll now vs. last year. Reads like he's getting more responsibility which is fine. Whatever. You get until July before I open the book of criticisms. For what it's worth I had this to say about him back in January when the Cubs first hired him: 

The Cubs are knee deep in building out their own suite of competitive advantages. This isn’t new though. It’s been on the top of mind since Theo showed up. The only difference this time around is the lack of free agency moves this offseason to overshadow this stuff. That’s why I want to wrap up talking a little about Craig Breslow. 

I go real deep this week on Red Line Radio so tune in there to get a healthy dose of my Breslow love. For now it’s important to point out Theo brought in Breslow to be a new Strategist for the Front Office. If the name sounds familiar, it’s because Breslow just retired from a 12-year big league career that saw him pitch in 575 games for 7 different clubs.

You might also recall that he’s been described as the smartest guy in professional sports. Two degrees from Yale. Off the charts on his SAT. He’s been accepted and deferred enrollment at NYU medical school on 4 separate occasions. He attributes almost all of his big league success to knowing more about the game than his opponent. How else do you explain 12 years with an 88mph fastball? This is the big leagues not your JV high school team. 88 is fuckin MEAT.


2. Matt Dorey is getting promoted after being the club's director of amateur scouting for 6 years. That means being responsible for the draft and scouting players which in everyone's estimation, has been pretty lackluster. Sorry if that offends any pussbags but other than 1st round gifts, what the FUCK have the Cubs drafted? I'll wait.

In the meantime, you'll argue that it's more of a "What do we do when they get here?" thing more than a "Who are we drafting?" problem. Chicken or egg stuff. Do the players suck when we draft them or after we coach them up for a few years? 

Fortunately, Matt Dorey's promotion will answer that question.  

3. I'm borderline nauseous reading how much time all these guys have already spent in the Cubs organization. Like I need to understand how this isn't just changing the title of a bunch of guys that are already in the room? Seems counterintuitive to lean so heavily inside the organization but what do I know I just write the blogs around here. 

Also of note, this adds value to hiring Espada because you're not seeing that brand new fresh face on the Front Office side of things but that's a separate blog.

Here's A Great Observation From My Guy Fred

If you can't or don't want to read it, he's basically pointing out that the Cubs are looking to hire a position that 30+ division 1 programs have already employed. Think about that. Morgantown, West Virginia has more biomechanical resources than the Cubs. 

GRANTED - Theo took over an organization that was the laughing stock of "baseball infrastructure" in 2012. A fraction of the scouts other teams would employ. No technology or data. Bunch of business guys sitting around telling the baseball people what they could spend and who they could spend it on. Just an absolute fucking joke top to bottom so take all my criticisms about things like this with a grain of salt. There was so much to be re-configured from day 1 it really isn't a surprise the Cubs didn't take over the biomechanical movement. But at the same time there's literally no excuse heading into next season and beyond. 

Read: Just Because I'm Criticizing Theo Doesn't Mean He's Not The Guy For The Job. 

At this point, all the cards are on the table. Backs against the wall. Play big or stay home blah blah blah. And across the history of baseball, Theo's proven to be one of the all time best problem solvers. 

In this case, the problems are pretty clear and all indications show they're being addressed aggressively. 

Now excuse me I need several drinks while we wait on the new manager.