Nike 'Jesus Shoes' Contain Holy Water From The River Jordan So You Can Walk On Water

Kate10/11/2019 12:21 AM

Will your soul be saved walking in these Nike Air Max 97s? The odds are good since each sole contains 60CCs of holy water sourced from Thee River Jordan. And it’s not quite a rosary, but in a pinch you can take off the lace and grasp the stainless steel crucifix adorned to it. There’s also a drop of ‘the blood of Christ’ on the tongue tab, blood red insoles, ‘INRI’ (in English this reads as “Jesus the Nazarene, King of the Jews) on the back of the right sneaker as well as inside it, and ‘MT 14:25′ on the side for bible verse Matthew 14:25.

I imagine if you roll into church on Sunday morning wearing these suckers, heads are gonna turn.

So why did Brooklyn-based internet marketing firm/creative hub MSCHF make a couple dozen pairs of this shoe?

From the NY Post:

….as a way of trolling “collab culture,” its head of commerce Daniel Greenberg tells The Post.
“We thought of that Arizona Iced Tea and Adidas collab, where they were selling shoes that [advertised] a beverage company that sells iced tea at bodegas,” Greenberg says. “So we wanted to make a statement about how absurd collab culture has gotten.”
To do that, it started with “one of the most influential figures in history,” Jesus Christ.
“We were wondering, what would a collab with Jesus Christ look like?” Greenberg says. “As a Jew myself, the only thing I knew was that he walked on water.”

Have to say I love this. Already calling shottie on collabing with the Holy Spirit when I come out with my line of washable wear-to-work-non-slip fleece slippers.

Naturally this sent me down a rabbit hole of odd shoe collabs like the Arizona Iced Tea/Adidas match-up they’re speaking on, and here’s some that made me tilt my head a bit:

Dominique Ansel, one of NYC’s ‘it’ bakers & the guy behind the Cronut craze of 2013, did a collaboration with Koio sneakers where you got,

“…a limited-edition pair of the Koio Avalanche, inspired by the core ingredients in a classic French croissant: flour, sugar, eggs, and butter. Each pair comes with a Dominique Ansel pancake mix.”

Is… is that a tiny golden croissant???

Lest we forget the Kyrie Krispy Kreme’s:

And a little Vans White Castle action:

Back to the Jesus Nikes… Sadly this Prophet lacks empathy for the poors & maintains emphasis on profit, as pairs were initially $1,425 and are quickly going for upwards of $4,000 on the resale market. Also, the savior has been unable to multiply them to satisfy the masses… they’re currently out of stock.