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Gabe Kapler Has Been Fired As The Phillies Manager...Now What? Seriously? WHAT?!?!?!

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And there you have it. After weeks of wishy washy BS from Phillies upper management who for some reason are taking ZERO responsibility for the underachieving dicksticks that are the Philadelphia Phillies, Gabe Kapler has been canned. Hey, at least a decision was made swiftly and with confidence instead of making the man look like a complete asshole for a month. Look, was Gabe Kapler the best manager? Of course not. We found that out opening weekend of his tenure where he pulled Aaron Nola after about 5 pitches of shutout ball and the next game when he tried to make a call to the bullpen…WHEN NOBODY WAS EVEN WARMING UP. But personally, I wouldn’t have minded if Gabe got another year to prove himself. Especially since there’s now no clear cut person to replace him. Who do the Phillies get that’s better for this team now and the future of the franchise? Joe Maddon would’ve been the perfect fit, be he’s going back to the West Coast where he’s already spent 30 years of his career. Girardi? At least he’s won something (against the Phillies, of course), but the Cubs and other teams will be hounding him hard. How about another young former player like Raul Ibanez? Kapler aside, it’s worked for the likes of the Twins with Rocco Baldelli and the Red Sox with Alex Cora. Or maybe just say fuck it and bring Kruk down from the booth and pay him in wings? Actually don’t hate it.

Unfortunately, if I had to bet, get ready for some Andy MacPhil retreads the likes of Dusty Baker (hired when Andy was CEO of the Cubs) or Buck Showalter (brought on when Andy was reigning over the Orioles). You know, guys who never won the whole damn thing but are highly regarded as “Baseball Guys” for all of the 800 teams they coached. Wonderful.

Goodnight, Sweet Gabe. May there be a mighty bench press and someone who actually knows how to handle a pitching staff at your next destination.

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PS – No matter who the Phillies get, they’re still gonna be the 4th best team in the NL East. Fuck. Everything.